who am I

lately feeling like being a small kid inside a metal box.
too busy only to play with himself.
Do not dare to see outside or even to step outside the box.
On the other hand I have been relentless, need to breath, need to get out.
Who am I? I need to know who I really am.
Feeling need to find myself.
Should I leave everything and start to find myself?
What is the use of having many things but loosing your own soul

being reminded

I made mistakes
a lot
But I will wake up and struggling back.

Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves

ok let me start

Lazy bump, totally slack. Sometimes after my business travel, just left everything on the floor. Baggage, suits, ties, trousers, etc.

Narcissism, have a very high confidence in my job world. Do not afraid to talk in front of hundred of people. Can talk about anything.

Shy, a bit of contrast. I can be a very shy person. Can shy away and do not talk. Especially to a beautiful woman hahahahaha.

Sarcasm, it is not my intention to be mean. But I am strict if somebody made mistakes he/she has to admit that. So do I. But I can play a very crazy politic in the job world if I have to protect my department. I can crush the enemy

Do more than one thing altogether. Very seldom to find me only doing one thing. I like doing a lot of thing in the same time.

Don't afraid to be in conflict. Did that a lot sometimes on purpose. They call me the crazy asian.

Speedy. They call me hammy from the "over the edge" film. Due that I am really fast in doing anything. Count on me on that.

Because of this. I don't drink coffee. My colleagues do not dare to give me caffeine. They afraid the side effect just like Hammy. :-D hahahahahaha. Yes I am a tee drinker not a coffee. So starbucks? what for? I don't go there. If I go, I only order chocolate

Straight to the point. I don't like bla bla bla talk. I talk directly to the source. For many people I am impolite, don't care about courtessy bla bla bla. Well that's me I don't give respect to people just because they are older than me. To get respect from me you have to earn that.

Centre of Attention, yeah as you see I like to be the centre of the universe. Hahahahahaha just joking. I am not that narcissistic guy.

I hope its already 10. If not added another time. It is too early in the morning here. Get back to sleep now..

the meanest mom on earth

I have to give his woman my standing ovation. She is a great mom. I should think all mom should do the same thing like what she did. It takes a man with balls to do that. For her it takes a lady with a charm and wit to do that.
My mom is a great mom too. She won't sleep until I get home. One time I slacking around and busy in a party till very late. My mom called all my friends in my telephone book list. So you should imagine how embarrassed I was the next day in school. But I knew she did that because of love.

Belle

really love this song.

Le Parfum

my favorite film

obrolan ancur banget

a bit x-rated. hehehehe. a chat with a very old friend of mine, who is doing his MBA in other part of the world.

BUZZ!!!
Berto: poel!
Paul: ape
Berto: eh gue udeh kasi tau belon si Ayub kuliah di mari?
Paul: blom
Paul: hehehe
Paul: keren keren
Berto: lagi stress tuh die, hehehehehehehehehe
Paul: nape?
Berto: biasalah, belajar gak ngerti2 (problem bahasa), tugas banyak, performance masih rata2, low confidence banget dia sekarang
Paul: normal lah
Paul: biasa kan awal awal
Paul: loh bilang dong kalau loh aja bisa masak dia nggak bisa hehehe senyum sinis
Berto: iye gue bilangin juga begitu
Paul: emang susah banget yah?
Paul: gua aja bisa kuliah double dulu hehehe nyombong abis
Berto: cuman emang masih belon nemu form tuh dia
Paul: kelamaan nggak kuliah juga pengaruh kan. Otak juga agak agak tak terbiasa untuk belajar
Berto: bener banget itu
Berto: apalagi dia selama ini sibuk kerja, kalau gue kan selalu menyempatkan diri utk belajar walaupun bekerja (nyombong abis juga)
Berto: jadi adaptasi gue lebih cepet
Paul: bener banget itu gua aja sekarang tetap belajar. Biasa sebagai kepala department kecil di sini. Gua harus terus belajar. Nyombong abis abisan banget
Berto: makanya tahun kemaren walaupun gue telat ikut Pre-MBA, tapi pas kuis pertama di Pre-MBA itu gue bisa keluar duluan pas yang lain masih di pertengahan (gak mau kalah sombong)
Berto: nah si Ayub ini pas kuis pertama, cuman bisa break even doang, tapi pas kuis kedua udeh lumayan bisa masuk average
Paul: tau nggak. Minggu lalu gua bilang mau mengundurkan diri. Langsung jabatan gua ditambah (team leader for global bla bla bla) dan naik gaji. Mampus nggak nih sombongnya
Berto:
Berto: taktik lama tuh, belagak mau berenti biar dinaikin gaji
Berto: lu emang paling bokis di antara kita
Paul: alah gua kan belajar dari loh semuanya
Paul: btw bokis itu apa?
Berto: bisaan
Berto: kasian juga si Ayub, di kamarnya orang ngobrol mulu dia gak bisa belajar, udeh gitu laptop barunya crash
Paul: eh gua kemaren menang capoeira dong. Gila gua emang tambah jago. Walaupun muka gua ampe merah kena tendang huahahahaha. Mampus nngak sombongnya gua
Berto: wets
Paul: loh kok dikamarnya orang ngobrol. Emang dia berdua?
Berto: 6 orang
Paul: WHATTTTT
Paul: satu kamar 6 ranjang gitu..... Atau satu apartement 6 kamar?
Paul: eh gua mau nulis 6 kamars loh maksud gua biar plural gitu. Garing banget ini otak
Berto: hehehehe
Berto: otaklu emang korslet pul
Berto: kebanyakan gaul sama turkmen
Paul: eh 6 kamar atau 6 ranjang satu kamar?
Paul: nggak bisa ehem ehem dong. you know what I meant
Berto: 1 kamar ada 2 ruang tidur dan 1 ruang belajar. 1 ruang tidur muat 3 orang
Paul: hmmm gua nggak bisa deh.
Berto: gak bisa ehem ehem
Paul: lagian gua juga suka tidur bugil. huahahaha
Berto:
Berto:
Berto: untung lu gak begitu waktu di XXXXX
Paul: eh gua di rumah suka bugil. ke dapur bugil
Berto:
Paul: agak agak exhibitionist huahahaha dan jendela gua nggak ada tirainya
Berto:
Berto: eh salah
Berto:
Berto: di YYYYY lu begitu juga ya????????????
Paul: nggaklah masak di Indo
Berto: kebiasaaan kan gak kenal tempat
Paul: disini kan my own space, my own life
Berto: LU EMANG GILA PUL
Berto: huahahahahahahaha
Berto: kebanyakan gaul sama senegal dan angola
Berto: lu sering bugil karena:
Berto: 1. males cuci baju
Berto: 2. ac sudah soak, sering rusak
Berto: 3. males mandi, jadi gak mau keringetan
Paul: salah
Paul: 1. ada mesin cuci
Berto: 4. biar gampang mainin
Paul: 2. disini dingin
Paul: 3. gua mandi paling dikit 3 kali seminggu
Berto: 5. ultra narsis, suka ngagumin bodi sendiri
Berto: TIGA KALI SEMINGGU???
Paul: 4. mainin bisa tanpa melepas pakaian
Paul: 5.untuk itu gua ada kaca super duper gede
Berto: 6. lu punya tetangga yg eksibisionis
Berto: juga
Paul: 6. nggak tuh
Berto: 7. lu sering ngayal jadi HULK
Paul: 7. nggak tuh
Berto: 8. lu sering ngayal jadi bintang film bokep
Berto: 9. supaya lu cepet aware kalau ada kutu di daerah terlarang
Paul: 8. ngapain ngayal jadi bintang bokep. Gajinya nggak banyak. Aktingnya nggak bagus. Skript ceritanya bosenin banget. Kalau gua jadi sutradara yang pertama gua lakukan bikin bokep dengan alur cerita yang bener
Paul: 9. Emang di Indo
Berto: hehehehehehehe
Berto: 10. supaya asyik kalau nyenggol2 perabotan
Berto: malah mungkin lu sengaja senggol2in ya??????
Paul: 10.apa enaknya sih. Loh sering yah hehehehe
Berto: yeeee, gue kan gak kayak lu yg bugil ke mana2
Berto: btw gue sudah disangkain gila kali nih, dari tadi ketawa mulu
Paul: Lah senggal senggol dengan celana diluar pun bisa.
Berto: yah tapi lu kan senggol2 tanpa perantara sensasinya lebih terasa
Berto:
Paul: wah gua nggak menimatinya tuh. Dan nggak kepikir untuk mencoba.
Berto: 11. lu pengen ngerasain breeze sepanjang waktu di sekujur kulit, terutama di daerah sensitif
Paul: hahahaha. kayaknya gua udah nggak sensitif itu.
Berto: :-0
Berto:
Berto: udeh kapalan maksudlu???????
Paul: hahahahahahah terlalu sering dikeluiarkan dari celana
Paul: udah ah ancur banget ini obrolannya
Berto: TAPI LU BENER2 GILAAAA PUUUUULLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Berto: boleh gue sebarin ke anak2 gak nih?
Paul: ah siapa yang percaya

blessed

Saw another Tyler Perry's movie. This one with the title meet the Browns.
I have to admit that I am a bit lunatic fan of Tyler Perry. Go Tyler go Tyler. His movie is usually surrounding following characteristics:

1. black community
2. black woman being abused, or struggle as single parent against crazy world.
3. the woman is almost at the end of giving up everything. Nowhere to run, etc.
4. at the end happy ending
5. And there is MADEA

Well one of his film did not have woman as main protagonist, but only one as I remember. And the next film will be a bit different. A lot of white people will be involved.
Tyler Perry usually play as an old aggressive but honorable woman, whose name is Madea. She is a bit lunatic always carry a gun inside her bag. And does not afraid to fight a man. In this film she fought a whole bunch of policemen. :-D

In the "meet the browns" there is a single mother struggling through life, trying to find anything to feed her kids and to give them a proper school. She is really poor, where at one time, she lost her job, doesnt have money to pay rent to pay electricity, abused by her ex husband, and so on. But the Guy up there wanted to bless her through a lot of incidents which brought her to a new life in a new town.

Seeing the movie, thinking back, what I have done in my life, what I have been through or my family been through. I have to say that I am blessed. Really blessed. There are sometimes, where I have to work and save a lot so I can even pay rent, food, even sometimes hunger myself so I can save some money for other things. But nevertheless I were so blessed, even now I am really blessed for all what I have, all what I have achieved. There is no reason to complain. I have difficulties even now, but I just have to look back and see what God has been done in my life.
I am blessed...............

Churchgoers

I know it is very easy for me to see weaknesses in other people than too look in the mirror.

Please don't mind me, don't mind what I am about to write.

Sometimes I found in the church a lot of phony-ness, hypocrite, mess up people.

Yes it is true that only the sinners need God. Or only the people who believe that they are a sinners need God. For other they can keep lying.

Still sometimes I could not stand the act of hypocrite and phony-ness. Like the smile, hugging things, small chats-warm chats thing, telling other they are caring about the other, etc. Come on. Don't say thing or act thing you don't really mean it.

Yes I am a sinner as well as a hypocrite. I did a lot of things, where people will ask me about my religion, and so on.
Yes I am bold. I say directly what I don't like for other people it looks like a stab to the chest. I don't stab from the back.

It is not that we supposed to be example for others. To be the light of the world. To help the other.

How can we do that, if we have a lot of liars. For me people who trick the government to get money, so they don't need to work, or to pretend to be very sick or ill so can be lazying around, is not a good example of people. People who tried to find any excuses so they don't need to do what they need to do like to find a job or even to do the job, that you are given for.

Complaining about the job their having. Or even do not want to do the job, try to find what they like, such as missionary. Come on. If the Guy up there wants you to do the job, He will show you, He will open the way. Do not push what you want to be His will. If you don't get the money enough from the job you are having. Then live according to what you have. I have been through a lot of things, a lot of difficult things. Do I cry out loud to anyone for this? I've done all type of jobs, from a not descent job until what I have now. I did that without annoying others.

Sorry for this rant. As I said I am also a hypocrite....

hear no evil see no evil speak no evil

Prolog

this one takes a long prolog. 2 Stories led to my wisdom of a day.




1st story

well might be some of you have seen this funny movie. I guess most probably you don't. It is quiet old. It is about a blind and a deaf, who were witnessing a murder. The problem each of them had only a glimpse of the scene. The blind one smelled the parfum, the deaf saw the legs. Due to some coincidences, etc, they were pursued by the police and the murders. The police thought they were the murders. The murders wanted to know what did they know.
The film were shown in 1989 with Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder and Kevin Spacey.

2nd story

Martin Luther said you can preach about anything as long as it is not longer than 45 minutes. Well my preacher talk always too long. Sometimes i fell asleep. Sigh....
The story is about guarding ourself. What you say influences what you believe. What you read, hear and see influences your mind.

Coming back

Somehow the Guy up there trying to say something to me. What i feed into my life is the one that I will reap. I see, do, hear many bad things. I'd even made a lot of expensive jokes as well as dirty jokes. This has to be stopped.
What I plant (put into my mind) is the one what I wil reap. For that I will try my best.

bitter temp

hahahaha
this is really cool

Yes a life as a temp is not easy. But this woman faced it with her charm.
Sure I want to meet this lady. She's got to be a witty and a bit down to earth lady. And she is hell smart.

well here is the link. See it for yourself

http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/105652/Tips-From-a-Bitter-Temp

South Ossetia and Abkhazia

Help me on this.
Possibly I have misunderstood this problem. :-D
So what is the problem of these 2 countries.
If they want to be independent. Let them be independent.
They have had referendum. Even with 95% involvement, and with 99% result. Why can't other countries accept this. Why western countries denied this?
I was thinking with East Timor Referendum, and its independence declaration, etc. All western countries supporting East Timor, but why can't they supporting these two countries now?
Is it because Georgia is joining Nato? That's why all western countries stand behind Georgia? Why many newspapers only said a bad thing about these independency declaration they had? Is this fair?

Highly possibly I don't see all with objective eyes. So please advise me on this.

No more sex

What
arrrrghhhhhh

a friend of mine has already 2 kids. And we were joking around about sex etc you know what men always talk about. If not sex than it is car or job.
So he told me the last time he has sex (complete with date and time) about couple of years ago. I was like "What"?
Well first never guessed that he will be so honest about this and never waited the statement like that.
Guess really priority does change, if you have family and kids. Things are different. The way you express your love, etc different. Some people even don't care anymore about their apppearance as before.
One of my other friends, so these ones are belonging to one family, i.e. husband and wife. They are always joking about me, that I am crazy about sport etc. For your information, they are really big compared to me. Can imagine like if my upper thigh like the size of the arm of blabla. They said well we are already happily married we don't need to hunt for a partner anymore. So we don't need to be like you. Blablablabla.
Although I don't agree what they said, well basically its their life. I do respect their way. But getting married doesn't mean to be laid back even more. This is not correct at all. Your body is to be taken care for. It is not only belonging to you but also to God and your family. I dont want to be look ugly for my partner after marriage. Just because Well I already married.......

they are my life

one of my team members is from France.
So french guy, a truly french guy.
He is very funny and very tall.
Anyway one day we hac a workshop. I gave them a quiz to know everything about everybody. In 5 minutes they had to collect all what they can about other people. :-D Quiet amusing.
One thing did struck me. When I started the quiz, which sounded like: how can you describe the guy in front of you with one word. The other colleague described this french guy with children. And it was right. Because he loves his children sooooooo much. He'd even say that his children were his life. His wallpaper laptop was a photo of his 2 daughters.
Wow amazing. Is it the way it is if you have a family, your priority changes suddenly. Your family is your number one.
So guys it is not only in Asian it is everywhere.

Cursed meal Indonesian Independence day

the story starts as every year.
For most of you know, that on 17th we have our independence day. Although Holland until now do not recognize the independence day process hehehe. At least that what my holland colleague told me.
Calling my sis
P: Paulkun
S: My Sis

S: Let's go to the consulate.
P: ah it the same every year.
S: at least we can get food for free. Rice. Remember rice.
(For your information in this country is not that usual to eat rice every time. Especially when it is free. He hehehe. Damn Asian.)
P: Free rice and "Dangdut" (indonesian folk music with much wiggy wiggy and throwing hip everywhere). Seems as a good reason for coming.
S: But we won't come for the ceremonial bla bla bla thing.
P: for sure. (You think I am that crazy to stand for more than one hour to hear a guy talk and talk without looking to us, as he can only see his script.)
S: that should do it.

So we came 1.5 hour later. Then we had to stand in the queue for one hour. Sigh free rice came with a price. hik hik. Stop the pity party. Then we all happily watching the Dangdutters. Yeah shake it to the right shake it to the left. Went home. Happily ever after.

Thats what you wished for. Unfortunately at 3 am in the morning I had to wake up with a big belly. Like pregnant. Had to go to toilet many many many many times. It seems that we got curse for not behaving correctly in the independence day.

It turned out that many people suffered the same as I did. Somehow the "Rendang" (Indonesian gulasch) suffered from expired coconut milk. Might be to squeeze the budget they are using everything that still left. Huahahahahaha Damn you to "Ibu Dharma Wanita" or anyone who did cook this cursed meal.

I guess at that night all toilets from Indonesian people in this area were full occupied.

.........................................

Vacation Part 5

Vacation Part 4

Somewhere in Thailand
will be updated

Vacation Part 3

to be continued

Vacation Part 2

Bali
ring a bell?
This was my second time to visit Bali. First one when I was 12 years old. Man that was ages. :-D
Yes I love beach. I love water. WARM WATER. I love laying on a beach doing nothing just read a book or sleeping. I love to hear the waves heating the rock.
I should put my shirtless picture here. :-D hahahaha

Vacation part 1

I think for Bangkok, everybody knows Khaosan Road.
So this one is dedicated only for Khaosan Road.

A quiet interesting road. The road was somehow created to fulfil the need of the backpackers in Bangkok.
Here I met a lot of people from different countries. Some people I got acquainted with were from US, Korea, Japan, Germany.
There are couple of hostels you can book there. The price is reasonable. I paid about 11 euros a night. You can get even cheaper. I was just too lazy to move.
The food. Wow. Can't complain at all. Especially with the price tag. For the food most of the time you can't bargain.
Clothes, accessories, etc. Here you have to bargain. Always start at least from 30% of the offered price. Some of them you can not really bargain. Example t-shirt. They have somehow a common agreed price between the sellers. :-(.

on vacation

so great
still in Jakarta
Just came back from Bali and Thailand. Will be in Jakarta for one week....
Done diving and surfing. Soooo great.....
Tell all the story later.


Paul

narcissm even in the baby dedication ceremonial thing

what the heck....
see how I posed myself in baby dedication time. Instead of trying to put the center into the baby. I posed like a hell there...

Ugly

Ugly by Constance Briscoe

Astonishing and captivating book. Love it. I would give this book a very high rate.

Basically the book is an autobiography. A story about a daughter, who was abused by her own mother for 19 years. She even named her ugly. She abused her in a way that I could not imagine a mom can do. Constance still has scares from the old day (all over her body, even knife marks, scars on head, breast, back, etc). She even left her starving alone in house. She gave her the same christmas present every year (she stole it and repackage it for the next year). New shoes, dress, ribbon, accesories, forget about those things. She never got those from her mom. But she stood up, working hard to reach her dream to become a barrister, which she made it.

An inspiring book although a bit sad, but still inspiring, motivating, and show that, in every darkness situation, there is always a ray of hope. The only thing who can stop you in getting out of the darkness is yourself. The only thing who can hinder you to achieve your dream is yourself.

Damn. I was reading too fast. I finished this book in 2 days (433 pages). And it was not even 2 days full reading, cause I have been only reading the book, while I am in the subway(tube) or in the bathroom. Sight there goes my money for only couple of hours reading. Nevertheless I enjoy the book. I have trained myself to read fast, due to my job and my time spare.... I can read books in a short time....

I was hearing this old song today. My goodness guess I am already old. hehehehe
I love the lyric. Not to hanging on from the past, the pain, the unhappiness. It is your choice to be buried inside the past, but you can also choose to let it go, to move on, unlock the chains, to start a new life.
Yes I've been hurt but I just move on. That might make some people think that I dont have a heart. Cause I don't want to be sad and to be stuck in the past. Life is too short to be spent like that.
May God bless you all, who are still live in the past. May God open your eyes to start living your life to the fullest.





I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Dont ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Chorus:
Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Thingsll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
Youve got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin your worries pass you by
Dont you think its worth your time
To change your mind?

(chorus)

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Wont you tell me now
Hold on for one more day cause
Its gonna go your way

Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Cant you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on

never give up...

never give up
It's not over until I say so....

I don't have a heart?
could be
I take a distance in working life. Where my feeling and my heart will not influence my decision making process. Right is right, wrong is wrong. I hate if somebody lie. To make a wrong decision, make a mistake it is normal. But to lie. It's a big no no for me.

preparing for a workshop tomorrow.

I will be leading a quiet mixed of group tomorrow (multi nationalities). The goal is to build a solid team as well as build a common foundation for the team.

Will be difficult, a lot of challenges. But I am sure I can eat this thing till the end.

i am for Clinton

I know the hope is getting dimmer and dimmer for her. But she is still my lady.
She is bold, nor opportunistic and not racist. Sorry for Obama's people. I am for her, no matter what.

injured my back from sport.
Quiet annoying. Have to do less sport until the injury gone.

Now is already 4 days without sports. My body feeling a bit funny. But can not really do much at the moment. Even hurt like hell waking up from the bed. My shoulder spinned, twisted, arggghhh. Why do I do this funny sport. Yes I am a bit sport freak. Doing sport 4-5times a week to get rid of my stress and anger. Kind of anger management.
Will tell you all later about my sport. At the moment still a secret. :-D

Well i am posting a very nice music video from Cloud9 singing cover version from Beyonce's listen. Enjoy it....

what a day

my sister is missing in action.
I was so stressful loking for her around the world today. Went to her boyfriend's apartment, to her dorm. Calling a lot of people even the university, her friend, my friend, the information center. etc.
found out she is okay. Actually IN HOLIDAY WITH HER BOYFRIEND without telling me. I am going to blast her, when she come. :-D this naughty little creature....

more later. It is past midnight. I just came home drop death tired. Doing 3 hours sport to minimish my anger.

i am so fine!!!

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality   Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Ambitious
Loving
Sense of Humor
Intelligence
Out-Going
What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

just bear it with me. I am so in narcissism world today. :-D
I am such a fine guy. The most eligible guy on earth....

have to admit I have many free days this moment. So I can write and write and write as much as I want

narcissism

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

see now I am convinced that I am a total narcissistic guy. And I am so damn proud to be one of them. Although the disorder is not that high (there is still "very high" level, I am only high. Guess have to work more on that to achieve "very high" level). The good side, that is the only personality dissorder I have.

annoying girl

SHITTT....

I turned my head, saw a woman dress like a man, walked like a man, talked like a man. But I knew she was a woman, because her voice and her not hairy legs. Smooth. :-D

This woman complained the whole time. 2nd time when she tried to put her bike inside the subway. Oh yeah here we can take bike inside the subway. But let me describe what she wore, not whore. :-D black t-shirt with white undies (yes I did see it), black jeans but only until knees. Black sporty sunglasses.

Back to the complain drama. She is such a drama queen. She complained to difficult to put the bike in her first choice of place. Then she moved directly in front of me and put the bike between the seats (mine and hers). Then the bike started to slid. She complained. She opened her book, tried to write and complain again that it was too shaky (remember we were inside a subway), it was too loud, etc. I was like, should I leave this crazy pathetic loser to another seat. Then I decided to stay and turned my ipod louder. :-D

what an annoying girl.

complaining to herself all the time for what?

invited to a wedding today
my room is in a mess
need to do many things now

crazy thought for today

what about making some naked picture of myself hehehehehehe.
And publish them all over internet. My parents will kill me. hehehehehe
Artistic picture or kind of exhibitionist or other will think as phedophilia object. arggghhh.
Well naked body of a woman is beautiful. It is created as an art, to be marvelled and enjoyed. But man's body hehehehe. Well just naughty thought for today.
Yup I still remember when an old man thought that he can buy me and use me as sex object. Thinking I am phedopilia object due to that I look young. First I am not interested (not the sexual preference I have), and if I am interested, I will put a very high price. I am paid hourly here for my job and it is quiet expensive. hehehehe


Paul

new glasses

today I will pick up my new glasses. can't wait. I choose quiet expensive one. Because the insurance pay 70%. The more expensive, the more money I got as refund. So why not.
Every year I change my glasses now I have a lot of glasses which I can change whenever I want.
Sweet.....
Such a dork......
hehehehe

funny

my friends consider me as a very open and funny person, very active, and talks a lot.

people who only get in touch with me from a distance will think that I am arrogant..

people at work as friend think me as a very efficient, work faster than anyone even superman, ambitious, and always achieving the good things for the team. But as enemy they will think me of very dangerous, bitchy, can fight and bite, doesn't afraid to get in the way.

cars, LV bags, hugo boss suits, etc, etc

to be honest, some of people in my team driving nice car. I am not realy saying luxury, because this is depending on how you define it. But it is a bit funny because I am driving public transportation. hehehe. It is not because I am too stingy to buy a car. No I just sold my car. And in this city I live I don't need a car. Reason for me not to have car:
- I can reach any place with public transportation. Here is really great.
- I dont need to spin my head to find a parking lot. Really difficult here.
- taxes, very ugly thing at the moment.
- gasoline, very retard expensive (about 17000IDR/litre)
- parking space (monthly about 1.4 million IDR/month for garage and 25000IDR for a short time parking)
- I don't like to get "candid camera" photo due to over limit speed. I tend to drive quiet fast and this is very expensive.

Call me funny, but I like my comfortable area, where I only need to sit and read books in my between time....
As far as I know. Not to generalize Jakarta's people. They tend to show off. Showing what they have. What kind of cars, what kind of handbags, or what kind of trade mark they are using as shirt or so on. Well I do posses a lot of things like those (except handbags of course). But I don't wear thing to be shown. Like with embroilled big tag brand on the chest or shoulder. Sorry for me this is really out of the zone.

Come on people. You are who you are. You are not what you wear.

If you see me after office time you will be thinking: ah student or just a normal student wth no money. Cause I tend to wear normal t-shirts and bad jeans hehehehe. I don't care because I feel relaxed with this thing. I don't want to wear suit after office hour. what for.... I want people to like for I am, not for what I have.

Bali...

in a short I will be in my home country. Yuppie. Well it will be only a short couple of weeks. I will be travelling to Thailand & Indonesia (Jakarta, Bali, possibly Bandung or Jogja).
Been ashamed that I have travelled in a lot of countries (due to my job). But I haven't really travelled in Indonesia. The last time when I was in Bali, was 18 years ago. I was a small kid then.....I don't come from a rich family, actually we were just an average family (no car hehehe). Well we were not poor, because I have seen what poor is. I knew that we were not poor at all. But we were also not rich, so vacation or travelling we didn't have it in our mind, neither we expect to have that every year. We were in Bali cause we were travelling together with our other relatives in a minibus. That was tiring....
So this time I will be surely in Bali. Enjoying my time. And in Bangkok I lost my contact with my friends from the university (I was studying in an international university, that was awesome, will tell about this later). But I heard you can go shopping a lot of things there. That what I am planning to do there. In Jakarta I will have to meet many of my relatives, which mostly I don't really care about (only some of them I do care). Well they are not really nice people. They have been behaving nasty to my parents (due to that we were not rich or something like that). It is not to say that now we are rich. Not at all. We do doing quite well. All of us (me and my siblings) are doing really well. We dont have jaguar or porsche or things like that. But we are doing well. My parents are really proud of us.

00:42 in the morning.
Just came home for the last 45 minutes. Got a ride so was home earlier than before. Too lazy to write.

Take control of my life.....

there are some parts of my life which I have been neglecting for couple of years.

I didnt dare to change these, by taking some excuses etc etc. I have realized that I will have to deal with this now and asap.

So get ready I will launch some actions this year. Wait and see....

Thing that I learned this last week.

Life is difficult, compared to what?

I read this statement from a blog. I forgot which one. Sorry folks. Again today I heard more or less same statement from a preacher.

I hate people who always complain about anything, like his or her life is the hardest life on earth. I can not blame them. Might be it is like that. But I dislike them.

If somebody said his life is hard, the question then compared to what. If he said compared to man A's life. How could he said that. He never run A's life. How could he know that A has an easier life than he has. People only see thing from outside. Everybody has their own mask to uncover thing or to be sure others see how he wants other to perceive him. A could be seen to have a marvelous wonderful life from outside. Is it mean that A has really an easier life than other. Not necessary. It is how A handles his life and how A shows his life to other what we see.

I always believe different people try to perceive their life according to their behavior and their image of life. Other take it easier other take it harder. Some people can not move on from his problem because he doesnt do the action to do so. He is just blaming cursing the situation and try to get a pity from other people. This behavior will not help him at all. Waiting for a pity will not make you stronger.

Remember what Friedrich Nietzsche said: That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Okay he is not christian, but he did has a point. You can only getting stronger by not letting the situation killing you. Killing your enthusiasm, your energy, your laugh, your relationship, etc. You are the one who is able to kill yourself.

I am always be a quiet positive guy. I tried not to think negatively about anything. But.

always "hope for the best prepare for the worst".

I also going to take some actions to repair many things/aspects in my life. I hope I can really do these things as soon as possible.


Regards,


Paul

saturday

bad day. Didnt really like my training. I am not that kind of Brazilian type, open, crazy, party, etc. I am more reserved, object planning, managing, office party. Not wild party.
In my capoeira training, the trainer pushed us to do some samba dance whatsoever. What the hell. I am here for training not for dance. I dont like the dance. I am crazy about capoeira. But not crazy about Brazilian mentality or culture. Possibly I am ignorant. But hei you can not change people. Dont expect to change me.

how dare you to compare me with George W Bush. He is a lunatic. Sorry for that.


Famous ESTJs

Real ESTJ People

* Andrew Jackson - American President
* Bette Davis - actress
* Carrie Nation - advocate
* Elliot Ness - prohibition agent
* George W. Bush - American President
* Grover Cleveland - American President
* James Monroe - American President



* John D. Rockefeller - industrialist, philanthropist
* Lyndon B. Johnson - American President
* Pat Summit - basketball coach
* Rev. Billy Graham - evangelist, writer
* Robert A. Taft - Governor of Ohio
* Sam Walton - founder of Wal-Mart
* William Henry Harrison - American President


Fictional ESTJs (Characters)

* Lucy van Pelt - Peanuts (Charlie Brown)
* Mrs. Harbottle - All Creatures Great and Small
* Mrs. Rachel Lynde - Anne of Green Gables



* Princess Leia Organa - Star Wars
* The Mayor - The Music Man
* Tony Soprano - The Sopranos

ESTJ Career Matches

ESTJs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the Overseer/Protector personality.

* Accountant
* Auditor
* Banker
* Business Administrator
* Business Analyst
* Computer Specialist
* Detective
* Economist
* Editor
* Engineer



* Financial Officer
* Government Worker
* Insurance Agent
* Judge
* Lecturer
* Librarian
* Manager
* Marketer
* Military Leader
* Nursing Administrator



* Police
* Researcher
* Sales Representative
* Scientist
* Senior Manager
* Teacher
* Teacher/Professor
* Technical Specialist
* Underwriter
* Writer

I am a scary person. OH NOOOOOO


About the ESTJ
Expert Quotes & Links

"ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs."
- Portrait of an ESTJ (The Personality Page)

"...go by experience and that is what counts, not speculation and experimentation, and certainly not fantasy. They keep their feet firmly on the ground and make sure that those under their supervision do the same..."
- The Portrait of the Supervisor (eStJ) (Keirsey)

"responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident"
- Jung Type Descriptions (ESTJ) (similarminds.com)
"ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translates into supervision. While ENTJs enjoy organizing and mobilizing people according to their own theories and tactically based agendas, ESTJs are content to enforce "the rules," often dictated by tradition or handed down from a higher authority."
- ESTJ Profile (TypeLogic)

"ESTJs prefer occupations that require an organized, logical, and practical bent that incorporates an effective use of time and resources. They pay attention to the organization's hierarchy and use policies and procedures to help them to move the tasks along. They like making decisions and dealing with concrete, specific facts."
- ESTJ - The Enforcer (Lifexplore)

MyPersonality.info Badge

counting my inventory....

I have 27 jackets, 10 of them are leather ones.
7 suits, different collours. The newest (2 of them) are dark brown.
30 ties, different collours and size. The newest are narrow ones.
8 scarfs, 3 of them are from my mom.
4 Belts.
14 pairs of jeans. The newest are from Energy (2 of them)
15 pairs of shoes, 5 of them from Clarks, 3 of them are exactly the same type but different collours.
10 bags (3 backpacks and 7 messenger bags), 7 of them are leather ones.
4 trolleys, different size. Due I travel quiet a lot.

Am I metrosexual?
Dont think so....

I like to wear jeans and suit in the office. Kind of rebellion act....



uncounted shirts, t-shirts.

today in the church

there was communion, I was sitting upstair. So most of the people got down to get the communion. One guy was asking when would the servicer come upstair. I told him, that would not be the case, since the lady already told us to get downstair.
And he was like:
why?
if they were trying to do like that, they should close the upper area of the church
I was like: hallo why are you complaining to me (inside my heart), because basically I didn't care about his complain.
I didnt take the communion because I felt that I was not clean before God.........

Marketing trick!

an old guy (not really old) approached me and asking for an opinion:

1. I need an answer/opinion.
2. Do you like to read

well this is the catch, if you said yes I like to read. You are already fall into the trap. He will continue, if you like to read then you will be interested to know about bla bla bla bla......

so my suggestion -do what I did

1. do you like to read
2. no not at all.

finish....

I swear, never been in such situation before.
kind of culture conflict.
Thought that I already known all about the culture where I live. Well it turned out I have not.
One woman invited me to a birthday. In my culture if somebody invite you to a birthday, its got to be his/her birthday. But in this case it is only a birthday of her friend.
My goodness. If this was already known so, I wouldn't spend my time for this stupid thing. Really waste of time. I didnt want to use my time for such a thing. Stupid really stupid....
Well next time whenever anyone invite me for a birthday party. The first questions are:
1. whose birthday
2. where
3. what kind of style.

ARRRGGGHHHHHH