never let go of me o Lord

I am really afraid that I will be separated from You o Lord.

Give me strength and power to humble before You.

My heart is yearning for You

Remember me o Lord

Come and fill me o Lord

from a friend of mine

God has made souls and He let them met in heaven face to face
and let them got introduced and told them this is your missing rib...
you both will be sent on earth in different families, different people

And one day you will meet each other and will fall for each other
No matter how you meet
No matter how you will find each other
but you will...
and then you both will recognise each other and will be in the relationship

So she is there somewhere
She will come to me herself when that would be the time
No matter how...
No matter where...
but when it will be the time
She will walk and will be in front of me
And my soul will recognise her....
That yes... this is my missing rib.

Yes my friend is truly talented. She can touch others with her word and her painting. A truly good friend. Her name is Stella....

pastor said

what would you think if you knew that in 5 minutes you will die?
What would you regret? Things you haven't done in your life. What?
What I would do:

- not to count things I haven't done in my life
- not going to regret anythings which already passed
- not going to regret any sin, mistakes done

What I would do

- thinking seeing the Lord
- thinking I hope I was right, I believed that I will be with my Lord
- calling all my families, friends, telling them how I love them

I don't want die in regret. If I would die in 5 minutes, I would die in peace.

No regret. Appreciate every little thing you have in life. Sadness, happiness, are part of life. Life your live to the fullest.

After all that I can say yes I am proud of my life, I am happy to meet God. I am not saying that I am purely innocent. No way I have done many unthinkable sinful things. In my own eyes I can't be forgiven. But thank to the Lord that I am not God. Thanks that we have a great God, great Lord.

I will continue my race...

Still so many things in this world to do, to see, to visit, and of course to shop.
I want to go to Israel to visit the place, where God promised Israel.
To visit Egypt, where Israel were forced into slavery. To see the greatness of sand, that no one can conquer. To see pyramid, Sphinx, rest of old civilization. To across the Nile.
To visit Greece, the old temple for worshipping ancient gods.
Adventure to tibet, to hanging monastery in China, to see kun lun pai temple.
Gosh I am really small compare to what earth has already experienced through the decade, centuries, million of years, changing civilization, etc.

In the quietness of the night
I wish I could hear voice of the earth.
Seeing the moon, stars remind me how small we are, human. Thought we sometimes carelessly without any respect just think of ourselves. Only thinking about job, work, girlfriend, love, problem, getting old, finance, credit crunch and so on. In a snap of fingers, we can be taken away from this world. Think what we have done in this world, what have we given to others, to the world. What have we done for the Lord up there.
Yes I am selfish.

dance baby dance

dance dance baby dance.

busy busy month

arrrgggh

who said owning an appartment is easy. man all the work needs to be done. Starting from all the paper works (tax, courts, country register, etc), renovation from bringging the tap water to the water basin, kitchen, living room arrangement. Why on earth I was thiking when I bought the appartment.

hahahahahahaha
But can make sure, this will be the coolest appartment in the city. Bringing a lot of Indonesian touch in the appartment. Some arty works such as "wayang", "batik painting", etc. Will be really damn cool.

Still have to do some other stuffs such as installing washing machine, move sofas, beds, from my old place, paint my old place etc.

gua dianggap cowok murahan sialan!!!!

Nah gua lagi jalan sama temen gua orang bule nih.
Karenanya gua tulis bahasa indo, biar nggak ada yang bisa google terutama temen gua ini. Temen gua ini cewek umur sekitar empat puluhan. Kita janjian ketemuan di Bali. Oh yah sebagai background, kita pernah kerja bareng di salah satu kota di eropa, dan dia kerja sebagai salah satu bawahanlah.
Karena gua emang lagi demen shopping barang barang indo buat dekorasi appartment baru gua disini (cita citanya gua mau bikin appartment gua bener bener bernuansa indonesia. Karena kalau dihitung Euro barang di indonesia murah, gua belanjanya jadi buanyaaaaaaak banget. Ampe gua overweight di airport. SIALAN.), gua sama dia belanja di beberapa kota di Indonesia. Di beberapa daerah, ketika gua dan temen temen gua lihat-lihat barang, ada beberapa toko yang kita nggak belanja karena emang nggak ada yang disuka. Eh penjaga tokonya: minta Buklenya dong beliin, atau minta istrinya dong beliin. Gua yang langsung meledak-ledak.

Emangnya gua nggak bisa beli sendiri
Emangnya kalau gua jalan sama temen gua, anggapannya asia kalau jalan sama bule pasti dibayarin, agak agak kayak simpenan atau gigolo gitu.

Dan guanya langsung eh tolong yah gaji gua lebih gede dari dia, dan bahkan posisi gua lebih tinggi dari dia.

ARRRRGGGGHHHH orang indonesia gimana sihhhh

Me humble. no way.....

Don't hate me because I am awesome. hehehehe
We were queuing for the food after the service. Look like in depressed time, where everybody has to queue for oil, rice, bread, like in the 50s? I hope my history teaching still has their mark in my brain. :-D. A friend of mind Andreas introduce me to a guy named David, do you know Paul, the awesome guy. He is working in X company, and nobody really know what is he doing, and very difficult to understand what is he doing, it is something with computer, strategy, etc. huahahahahaha
I don't care. the point is I am awesome. So people don't hate me for I am really awesome.

A friend of mine called me. Sophia her name. She said something like this. Paul it is really fun to have friend like you, you have good job, good knowledge, etc, etc, but you are very down to earth. I said: What did you just said? Me down to earth? Don't say that. I belong to the greatest people living on earth list, I am not down to earth. She said yes I am, cause I can eat cheap food go to very small restaurant on the street doesn't care have to be in the high expensive restaurant. I can be in the ordinary restaurant. I said: NO WAY. Don't put me in the same class with peasant people. I born to be rich and powerful. I am not ordinary people. I can eat there because I am stingy. STINGY I don't like spending money for f***ing expensive restaurant. It is not because I am humble!!!!!! Don't say that word. Oh a bad image for me. :-D

The 2nd part was really our conversation. But I need to correct many things. The real me is:

I am not humble to arrogant people, I will be even more arrogant than them
I love to be with people, for me everyone born as human being, there is no a better race, better class of people. We are all human.
I don't like to talk about how much I earn, what I have, etc. It is not something you need to brag for.

I was in my country last month, there a huge gap between the have and the have not. I ordered a BECAK driver for a day to drive me everywhere in one small city. And I had to drag him over inside the restaurant so he could eat with me on the same table. A country where there most of the time you have servant to serve you for almost everything. In my parents house we don't have servant, we have to do everything ourselves. It is okay. Nothing bad without having servants.

I could not see the poverty, I could not understand how poverty and the rich can stand together side by side there. A huge difference, a family living inside a cart (yes a cart what we called gerobak) and beside them is a very luxury over the top mall Pacific Place. This family could not even buy a single thing from that mall. It was really hurt for me to see that.

Yes I love buying good things, I love leather a lot, I have may be more than 10 leather bags, suitcases, etc. I bought that with my own money. Now everytime I am buying thing, I always reminded how much other people earn, it is good, it teachs me to be wise with the money, better to use it, where can be useful or even blessing to others.

Thanks for all things that You have given me. And led me to be a blessing wherever I am. Difficult, but I will try

What is with facebook

YES I am addicted to Facebook. You damn stupid program, you drive me crazy

sick for 3 weeks

the longest time ever for me to be sick. 3 weeks. Just after my vacation I got sick. I thought that I got infected with Swine flu. So I was hoping to be the first case of Swine flu in Europe, might be I would get my picture in the newspaper. There's my idea of publication.
Unfortunately I just got a normal virus, that makes me vomitting, coughing, sneezing a lot. I lost 3 kg I guessed. Hei see the silver lining, at least I dont need to work hard as many people to get rid of their belly pot. I still got my sixpack hehehehehe.

happyness

Not rich (yet)
Not famous (yet)
Not married (yet)
Not successful (yet)

But I am satisfied

great family with a lot of love, we are not rich but we have love. A lot to give. We love each other sooooooooooo much. My mom, dad, sis, bro in law, cousins, unties, uncles.

great health just small sickness.

great job great carreer

great expectations.

God I am counting my blessing and I am truly blessed

I am strucked by this song.
Again and again God shows me, how He talks with me.
In the last couple of days, I was just filled with a lot of Worship songs.
I was just singing a long song after song.
I am not a religious person. But in the last couple of days I am just filled with those.
I didnt know why.
The last three weeks, a lot of things happened to me.

- my aunt died.
She was a christian, one of very few in my family. Was really proud to see how God did really change her and her husband. But I know that she is now with our Father.
- I got new position
Not a big thing, but I was happy to have this honour from my new boss.
- I bought an appartment.
Yes a big investment in a difficult time. I just felt right. It seems everything working out the way it should be. Without any problem at all.
- I got operation
I got kind of big operation inside my mouth. So can not really talk at the moment.

And that is why I havent updated this blog. Was really busy travelling all the time. But what I want is to be a great follower of Him, to be humble in front of Him, to be with Him. It is difficult as I am not a religious person.
Today I was singing the whole time this song.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Mercy Me Word of God speak

And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a wonderful new week.
Starting fresh and strengthened

from internet test

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

from NIV

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing nothing can separate me from the love of God.

Carry It In

carry it in
by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Winston Churchill

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential”
“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”


I kind of like the way he did the business.
Unfortunately none of his kids live up his dream

IF from Rudyard Kipling

One of my colleague sent me this poem.
I love it. Really love it.



[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling