Fire and Ice

Whom Shall I fear

2010-03-15T23:03:00.005+01:00

After talking with a good friend of mine, pray about my life, my struggle, I sing about God's greatness. The old song that I have been looking for a long long time.

Whom Shall I fear from Darrel Evans

I will seek You Lord
While I am in my youth
I will serve You Lord
And I'll proclaim Your truth
For You searched and found me
While I was far away
And in my troubled times
You always keep me safe

The Lord is my light and my salvation
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear
The Lord is the stronghold of my life
Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know that You are for me
I praise You 'cause You're for me

Psalm 27
King James Bible

1 The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the LORD is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?

2 When the wicked, even mine enemies and my foes, came upon me to eat up my flesh, they stumbled and fell.

3 Though an host should encamp against me, my heart shall not fear: though war should rise against me, in this will I be confident.

4 One thing have I desired of the LORD, that will I seek after; that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the LORD, and to enquire in his temple.

5 For in the time of trouble he shall hide me in his pavilion: in the secret of his tabernacle shall he hide me; he shall set me up upon a rock.

6 And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies round about me: therefore will I offer in his tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the LORD.

7 Hear, O LORD, when I cry with my voice: have mercy also upon me, and answer me.

8 When thou saidst, Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek.

9 Hide not thy face far from me; put not thy servant away in anger: thou hast been my help; leave me not, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.

10 When my father and my mother forsake me, then the LORD will take me up.

11 Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path, because of mine enemies.

12 Deliver me not over unto the will of mine enemies: for false witnesses are risen up against me, and such as breathe out cruelty.

13 I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living.

14 Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD.

Give up?

2010-03-15T20:13:00.002+01:00

Dear God,

I came to a point, where the struggle is way too big for me, for me to face it, to deal with it, to finish it off. I have been running and running and running. I have tried not to face the problem.

Under rubbles of my life, on my bended knees I cried and beg for your mercy for your love to be poured unto me.

You have said, that you will not forsaken me, nor will you leave me. I hold on to your word and I plead to you for that. I will wait for the Lord, for the salvation come from Him alone. Therefore in this time I will wait with rest of my strength in front of You. Give me the power and confidence to trust in you alone.

Paul

2009-09-15T00:11:00.002+02:00

never let go of me o Lord

I am really afraid that I will be separated from You o Lord.

Give me strength and power to humble before You.

My heart is yearning for You

Remember me o Lord

Come and fill me o Lord

from a friend of mine

2009-09-14T23:58:00.003+02:00

God has made souls and He let them met in heaven face to face
and let them got introduced and told them this is your missing rib...
you both will be sent on earth in different families, different people

And one day you will meet each other and will fall for each other
No matter how you meet
No matter how you will find each other
but you will...
and then you both will recognise each other and will be in the relationship

So she is there somewhere
She will come to me herself when that would be the time
No matter how...
No matter where...
but when it will be the time
She will walk and will be in front of me
And my soul will recognise her....
That yes... this is my missing rib.

Yes my friend is truly talented. She can touch others with her word and her painting. A truly good friend. Her name is Stella....

pastor said

2009-08-09T20:13:00.002+02:00

what would you think if you knew that in 5 minutes you will die?
What would you regret? Things you haven't done in your life. What?
What I would do:

- not to count things I haven't done in my life
- not going to regret anythings which already passed
- not going to regret any sin, mistakes done

What I would do

- thinking seeing the Lord
- thinking I hope I was right, I believed that I will be with my Lord
- calling all my families, friends, telling them how I love them

I don't want die in regret. If I would die in 5 minutes, I would die in peace.

No regret. Appreciate every little thing you have in life. Sadness, happiness, are part of life. Life your live to the fullest.

After all that I can say yes I am proud of my life, I am happy to meet God. I am not saying that I am purely innocent. No way I have done many unthinkable sinful things. In my own eyes I can't be forgiven. But thank to the Lord that I am not God. Thanks that we have a great God, great Lord.

I will continue my race...

2009-07-21T00:25:00.002+02:00

Still so many things in this world to do, to see, to visit, and of course to shop.
I want to go to Israel to visit the place, where God promised Israel.
To visit Egypt, where Israel were forced into slavery. To see the greatness of sand, that no one can conquer. To see pyramid, Sphinx, rest of old civilization. To across the Nile.
To visit Greece, the old temple for worshipping ancient gods.
Adventure to tibet, to hanging monastery in China, to see kun lun pai temple.
Gosh I am really small compare to what earth has already experienced through the decade, centuries, million of years, changing civilization, etc.

2009-07-21T00:17:00.002+02:00

In the quietness of the night
I wish I could hear voice of the earth.
Seeing the moon, stars remind me how small we are, human. Thought we sometimes carelessly without any respect just think of ourselves. Only thinking about job, work, girlfriend, love, problem, getting old, finance, credit crunch and so on. In a snap of fingers, we can be taken away from this world. Think what we have done in this world, what have we given to others, to the world. What have we done for the Lord up there.
Yes I am selfish.

dance baby dance

2009-06-01T23:16:00.001+02:00

dance dance baby dance.

busy busy month

2009-06-01T23:11:00.002+02:00

arrrgggh

who said owning an appartment is easy. man all the work needs to be done. Starting from all the paper works (tax, courts, country register, etc), renovation from bringging the tap water to the water basin, kitchen, living room arrangement. Why on earth I was thiking when I bought the appartment.

hahahahahahaha
But can make sure, this will be the coolest appartment in the city. Bringing a lot of Indonesian touch in the appartment. Some arty works such as "wayang", "batik painting", etc. Will be really damn cool.

Still have to do some other stuffs such as installing washing machine, move sofas, beds, from my old place, paint my old place etc.

gua dianggap cowok murahan sialan!!!!

2009-05-07T21:40:00.002+02:00

Nah gua lagi jalan sama temen gua orang bule nih.
Karenanya gua tulis bahasa indo, biar nggak ada yang bisa google terutama temen gua ini. Temen gua ini cewek umur sekitar empat puluhan. Kita janjian ketemuan di Bali. Oh yah sebagai background, kita pernah kerja bareng di salah satu kota di eropa, dan dia kerja sebagai salah satu bawahanlah.
Karena gua emang lagi demen shopping barang barang indo buat dekorasi appartment baru gua disini (cita citanya gua mau bikin appartment gua bener bener bernuansa indonesia. Karena kalau dihitung Euro barang di indonesia murah, gua belanjanya jadi buanyaaaaaaak banget. Ampe gua overweight di airport. SIALAN.), gua sama dia belanja di beberapa kota di Indonesia. Di beberapa daerah, ketika gua dan temen temen gua lihat-lihat barang, ada beberapa toko yang kita nggak belanja karena emang nggak ada yang disuka. Eh penjaga tokonya: minta Buklenya dong beliin, atau minta istrinya dong beliin. Gua yang langsung meledak-ledak.

Emangnya gua nggak bisa beli sendiri
Emangnya kalau gua jalan sama temen gua, anggapannya asia kalau jalan sama bule pasti dibayarin, agak agak kayak simpenan atau gigolo gitu.

Dan guanya langsung eh tolong yah gaji gua lebih gede dari dia, dan bahkan posisi gua lebih tinggi dari dia.

ARRRRGGGGHHHH orang indonesia gimana sihhhh

Me humble. no way.....

2009-05-03T19:03:00.002+02:00

Don't hate me because I am awesome. hehehehe
We were queuing for the food after the service. Look like in depressed time, where everybody has to queue for oil, rice, bread, like in the 50s? I hope my history teaching still has their mark in my brain. :-D. A friend of mind Andreas introduce me to a guy named David, do you know Paul, the awesome guy. He is working in X company, and nobody really know what is he doing, and very difficult to understand what is he doing, it is something with computer, strategy, etc. huahahahahaha
I don't care. the point is I am awesome. So people don't hate me for I am really awesome.

A friend of mine called me. Sophia her name. She said something like this. Paul it is really fun to have friend like you, you have good job, good knowledge, etc, etc, but you are very down to earth. I said: What did you just said? Me down to earth? Don't say that. I belong to the greatest people living on earth list, I am not down to earth. She said yes I am, cause I can eat cheap food go to very small restaurant on the street doesn't care have to be in the high expensive restaurant. I can be in the ordinary restaurant. I said: NO WAY. Don't put me in the same class with peasant people. I born to be rich and powerful. I am not ordinary people. I can eat there because I am stingy. STINGY I don't like spending money for f***ing expensive restaurant. It is not because I am humble!!!!!! Don't say that word. Oh a bad image for me. :-D

The 2nd part was really our conversation. But I need to correct many things. The real me is:

I am not humble to arrogant people, I will be even more arrogant than them
I love to be with people, for me everyone born as human being, there is no a better race, better class of people. We are all human.
I don't like to talk about how much I earn, what I have, etc. It is not something you need to brag for.

I was in my country last month, there a huge gap between the have and the have not. I ordered a BECAK driver for a day to drive me everywhere in one small city. And I had to drag him over inside the restaurant so he could eat with me on the same table. A country where there most of the time you have servant to serve you for almost everything. In my parents house we don't have servant, we have to do everything ourselves. It is okay. Nothing bad without having servants.

I could not see the poverty, I could not understand how poverty and the rich can stand together side by side there. A huge difference, a family living inside a cart (yes a cart what we called gerobak) and beside them is a very luxury over the top mall Pacific Place. This family could not even buy a single thing from that mall. It was really hurt for me to see that.

Yes I love buying good things, I love leather a lot, I have may be more than 10 leather bags, suitcases, etc. I bought that with my own money. Now everytime I am buying thing, I always reminded how much other people earn, it is good, it teachs me to be wise with the money, better to use it, where can be useful or even blessing to others.

Thanks for all things that You have given me. And led me to be a blessing wherever I am. Difficult, but I will try

What is with facebook

2009-05-03T19:00:00.001+02:00

YES I am addicted to Facebook. You damn stupid program, you drive me crazy

sick for 3 weeks

2009-05-03T18:48:00.002+02:00

the longest time ever for me to be sick. 3 weeks. Just after my vacation I got sick. I thought that I got infected with Swine flu. So I was hoping to be the first case of Swine flu in Europe, might be I would get my picture in the newspaper. There's my idea of publication.
Unfortunately I just got a normal virus, that makes me vomitting, coughing, sneezing a lot. I lost 3 kg I guessed. Hei see the silver lining, at least I dont need to work hard as many people to get rid of their belly pot. I still got my sixpack hehehehehe.

happyness

2009-04-18T14:43:00.002+02:00

Not rich (yet)
Not famous (yet)
Not married (yet)
Not successful (yet)

But I am satisfied

great family with a lot of love, we are not rich but we have love. A lot to give. We love each other sooooooooooo much. My mom, dad, sis, bro in law, cousins, unties, uncles.

great health just small sickness.

great job great carreer

great expectations.

God I am counting my blessing and I am truly blessed

2009-03-22T21:06:00.002+01:00

I am strucked by this song.
Again and again God shows me, how He talks with me.
In the last couple of days, I was just filled with a lot of Worship songs.
I was just singing a long song after song.
I am not a religious person. But in the last couple of days I am just filled with those.
I didnt know why.
The last three weeks, a lot of things happened to me.

- my aunt died.
She was a christian, one of very few in my family. Was really proud to see how God did really change her and her husband. But I know that she is now with our Father.
- I got new position
Not a big thing, but I was happy to have this honour from my new boss.
- I bought an appartment.
Yes a big investment in a difficult time. I just felt right. It seems everything working out the way it should be. Without any problem at all.
- I got operation
I got kind of big operation inside my mouth. So can not really talk at the moment.

And that is why I havent updated this blog. Was really busy travelling all the time. But what I want is to be a great follower of Him, to be humble in front of Him, to be with Him. It is difficult as I am not a religious person.
Today I was singing the whole time this song.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------
From Mercy Me Word of God speak

And the funny thing is it's okay
The last thing I need is to be heard
But to hear what You would say

[CHORUS]
Word of God speak
Would You pour down like rain
Washing my eyes to see
Your majesty
To be still and know
That You're in this place
Please let me stay and rest
In Your holiness
Word of God speak

I'm finding myself in the midst of You
Beyond the music, beyond the noise
All that I need is to be with You
And in the quiet hear Your voice

[REPEAT CHORUS 2x]

I'm finding myself at a loss for words
And the funny thing is it's okay

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have a wonderful new week.
Starting fresh and strengthened

from internet test

2009-02-23T21:12:00.000+01:00

Your view on yourself:
Other people find you very interesting, but you are really hiding your true self. Your friends love you because you are a good listener. They'll probably still love you if you learn to be yourself with them.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are not looking merely for a girl/boyfriend - you are looking for your life partner. Perhaps you should be more open-minded about who you spend time with. The person you are looking for might hide their charm under their exterior.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

from NIV

2009-02-23T00:20:00.000+01:00

35Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered."[l] 37No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Nothing nothing can separate me from the love of God.

Carry It In

2009-02-20T23:13:00.000+01:00

carry it in
by E. E. Cummings

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart)

Winston Churchill

2009-01-25T11:27:00.001+01:00

“You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.”
“Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential”
“I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

I kind of like the way he did the business.
Unfortunately none of his kids live up his dream

IF from Rudyard Kipling

2009-01-25T11:26:00.001+01:00

One of my colleague sent me this poem.
I love it. Really love it.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

who am I

2008-10-19T20:49:00.002+02:00

lately feeling like being a small kid inside a metal box.
too busy only to play with himself.
Do not dare to see outside or even to step outside the box.
On the other hand I have been relentless, need to breath, need to get out.
Who am I? I need to know who I really am.
Feeling need to find myself.
Should I leave everything and start to find myself?
What is the use of having many things but loosing your own soul

being reminded

2008-10-12T22:46:00.001+02:00

I made mistakes
a lot
But I will wake up and struggling back.

2008-10-04T05:40:00.004+02:00

Each blogger starts with ten random facts/habits about themselves

ok let me start

Lazy bump, totally slack. Sometimes after my business travel, just left everything on the floor. Baggage, suits, ties, trousers, etc.

Narcissism, have a very high confidence in my job world. Do not afraid to talk in front of hundred of people. Can talk about anything.

Shy, a bit of contrast. I can be a very shy person. Can shy away and do not talk. Especially to a beautiful woman hahahahaha.

Sarcasm, it is not my intention to be mean. But I am strict if somebody made mistakes he/she has to admit that. So do I. But I can play a very crazy politic in the job world if I have to protect my department. I can crush the enemy

Do more than one thing altogether. Very seldom to find me only doing one thing. I like doing a lot of thing in the same time.

Don't afraid to be in conflict. Did that a lot sometimes on purpose. They call me the crazy asian.

Speedy. They call me hammy from the "over the edge" film. Due that I am really fast in doing anything. Count on me on that.

Because of this. I don't drink coffee. My colleagues do not dare to give me caffeine. They afraid the side effect just like Hammy. :-D hahahahahaha. Yes I am a tee drinker not a coffee. So starbucks? what for? I don't go there. If I go, I only order chocolate

Straight to the point. I don't like bla bla bla talk. I talk directly to the source. For many people I am impolite, don't care about courtessy bla bla bla. Well that's me I don't give respect to people just because they are older than me. To get respect from me you have to earn that.

Centre of Attention, yeah as you see I like to be the centre of the universe. Hahahahahaha just joking. I am not that narcissistic guy.

I hope its already 10. If not added another time. It is too early in the morning here. Get back to sleep now..

the meanest mom on earth

2008-10-03T08:13:00.002+02:00

I have to give his woman my standing ovation. She is a great mom. I should think all mom should do the same thing like what she did. It takes a man with balls to do that. For her it takes a lady with a charm and wit to do that.
My mom is a great mom too. She won't sleep until I get home. One time I slacking around and busy in a party till very late. My mom called all my friends in my telephone book list. So you should imagine how embarrassed I was the next day in school. But I knew she did that because of love.

Belle

2008-09-11T23:52:00.000+02:00

really love this song.

Le Parfum

2008-09-07T11:55:00.000+02:00

my favorite film

obrolan ancur banget

2008-09-07T11:15:00.001+02:00

a bit x-rated. hehehehe. a chat with a very old friend of mine, who is doing his MBA in other part of the world.

BUZZ!!!
Berto: poel!
Paul: ape
Berto: eh gue udeh kasi tau belon si Ayub kuliah di mari?
Paul: blom
Paul: hehehe
Paul: keren keren
Berto: lagi stress tuh die, hehehehehehehehehe
Paul: nape?
Berto: biasalah, belajar gak ngerti2 (problem bahasa), tugas banyak, performance masih rata2, low confidence banget dia sekarang
Paul: normal lah
Paul: biasa kan awal awal
Paul: loh bilang dong kalau loh aja bisa masak dia nggak bisa hehehe senyum sinis
Berto: iye gue bilangin juga begitu
Paul: emang susah banget yah?
Paul: gua aja bisa kuliah double dulu hehehe nyombong abis
Berto: cuman emang masih belon nemu form tuh dia
Paul: kelamaan nggak kuliah juga pengaruh kan. Otak juga agak agak tak terbiasa untuk belajar
Berto: bener banget itu
Berto: apalagi dia selama ini sibuk kerja, kalau gue kan selalu menyempatkan diri utk belajar walaupun bekerja (nyombong abis juga)
Berto: jadi adaptasi gue lebih cepet
Paul: bener banget itu gua aja sekarang tetap belajar. Biasa sebagai kepala department kecil di sini. Gua harus terus belajar. Nyombong abis abisan banget
Berto: makanya tahun kemaren walaupun gue telat ikut Pre-MBA, tapi pas kuis pertama di Pre-MBA itu gue bisa keluar duluan pas yang lain masih di pertengahan (gak mau kalah sombong)
Berto: nah si Ayub ini pas kuis pertama, cuman bisa break even doang, tapi pas kuis kedua udeh lumayan bisa masuk average
Paul: tau nggak. Minggu lalu gua bilang mau mengundurkan diri. Langsung jabatan gua ditambah (team leader for global bla bla bla) dan naik gaji. Mampus nggak nih sombongnya
Berto:
Berto: taktik lama tuh, belagak mau berenti biar dinaikin gaji
Berto: lu emang paling bokis di antara kita
Paul: alah gua kan belajar dari loh semuanya
Paul: btw bokis itu apa?
Berto: bisaan
Berto: kasian juga si Ayub, di kamarnya orang ngobrol mulu dia gak bisa belajar, udeh gitu laptop barunya crash
Paul: eh gua kemaren menang capoeira dong. Gila gua emang tambah jago. Walaupun muka gua ampe merah kena tendang huahahahaha. Mampus nngak sombongnya gua
Berto: wets
Paul: loh kok dikamarnya orang ngobrol. Emang dia berdua?
Berto: 6 orang
Paul: WHATTTTT
Paul: satu kamar 6 ranjang gitu..... Atau satu apartement 6 kamar?
Paul: eh gua mau nulis 6 kamars loh maksud gua biar plural gitu. Garing banget ini otak
Berto: hehehehe
Berto: otaklu emang korslet pul
Berto: kebanyakan gaul sama turkmen
Paul: eh 6 kamar atau 6 ranjang satu kamar?
Paul: nggak bisa ehem ehem dong. you know what I meant
Berto: 1 kamar ada 2 ruang tidur dan 1 ruang belajar. 1 ruang tidur muat 3 orang
Paul: hmmm gua nggak bisa deh.
Berto: gak bisa ehem ehem
Paul: lagian gua juga suka tidur bugil. huahahaha
Berto:
Berto:
Berto: untung lu gak begitu waktu di XXXXX
Paul: eh gua di rumah suka bugil. ke dapur bugil
Berto:
Paul: agak agak exhibitionist huahahaha dan jendela gua nggak ada tirainya
Berto:
Berto: eh salah
Berto:
Berto: di YYYYY lu begitu juga ya????????????
Paul: nggaklah masak di Indo
Berto: kebiasaaan kan gak kenal tempat
Paul: disini kan my own space, my own life
Berto: LU EMANG GILA PUL
Berto: huahahahahahahaha
Berto: kebanyakan gaul sama senegal dan angola
Berto: lu sering bugil karena:
Berto: 1. males cuci baju
Berto: 2. ac sudah soak, sering rusak
Berto: 3. males mandi, jadi gak mau keringetan
Paul: salah
Paul: 1. ada mesin cuci
Berto: 4. biar gampang mainin
Paul: 2. disini dingin
Paul: 3. gua mandi paling dikit 3 kali seminggu
Berto: 5. ultra narsis, suka ngagumin bodi sendiri
Berto: TIGA KALI SEMINGGU???
Paul: 4. mainin bisa tanpa melepas pakaian
Paul: 5.untuk itu gua ada kaca super duper gede
Berto: 6. lu punya tetangga yg eksibisionis
Berto: juga
Paul: 6. nggak tuh
Berto: 7. lu sering ngayal jadi HULK
Paul: 7. nggak tuh
Berto: 8. lu sering ngayal jadi bintang film bokep
Berto: 9. supaya lu cepet aware kalau ada kutu di daerah terlarang
Paul: 8. ngapain ngayal jadi bintang bokep. Gajinya nggak banyak. Aktingnya nggak bagus. Skript ceritanya bosenin banget. Kalau gua jadi sutradara yang pertama gua lakukan bikin bokep dengan alur cerita yang bener
Paul: 9. Emang di Indo
Berto: hehehehehehehe
Berto: 10. supaya asyik kalau nyenggol2 perabotan
Berto: malah mungkin lu sengaja senggol2in ya??????
Paul: 10.apa enaknya sih. Loh sering yah hehehehe
Berto: yeeee, gue kan gak kayak lu yg bugil ke mana2
Berto: btw gue sudah disangkain gila kali nih, dari tadi ketawa mulu
Paul: Lah senggal senggol dengan celana diluar pun bisa.
Berto: yah tapi lu kan senggol2 tanpa perantara sensasinya lebih terasa
Berto:
Paul: wah gua nggak menimatinya tuh. Dan nggak kepikir untuk mencoba.
Berto: 11. lu pengen ngerasain breeze sepanjang waktu di sekujur kulit, terutama di daerah sensitif
Paul: hahahaha. kayaknya gua udah nggak sensitif itu.
Berto: :-0
Berto:
Berto: udeh kapalan maksudlu???????
Paul: hahahahahahah terlalu sering dikeluiarkan dari celana
Paul: udah ah ancur banget ini obrolannya
Berto: TAPI LU BENER2 GILAAAA PUUUUULLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Berto: boleh gue sebarin ke anak2 gak nih?
Paul: ah siapa yang percaya

blessed

2008-09-02T20:54:00.003+02:00

Saw another Tyler Perry's movie. This one with the title meet the Browns.
I have to admit that I am a bit lunatic fan of Tyler Perry. Go Tyler go Tyler. His movie is usually surrounding following characteristics:

1. black community
2. black woman being abused, or struggle as single parent against crazy world.
3. the woman is almost at the end of giving up everything. Nowhere to run, etc.
4. at the end happy ending
5. And there is MADEA

Well one of his film did not have woman as main protagonist, but only one as I remember. And the next film will be a bit different. A lot of white people will be involved.
Tyler Perry usually play as an old aggressive but honorable woman, whose name is Madea. She is a bit lunatic always carry a gun inside her bag. And does not afraid to fight a man. In this film she fought a whole bunch of policemen. :-D

In the "meet the browns" there is a single mother struggling through life, trying to find anything to feed her kids and to give them a proper school. She is really poor, where at one time, she lost her job, doesnt have money to pay rent to pay electricity, abused by her ex husband, and so on. But the Guy up there wanted to bless her through a lot of incidents which brought her to a new life in a new town.

Seeing the movie, thinking back, what I have done in my life, what I have been through or my family been through. I have to say that I am blessed. Really blessed. There are sometimes, where I have to work and save a lot so I can even pay rent, food, even sometimes hunger myself so I can save some money for other things. But nevertheless I were so blessed, even now I am really blessed for all what I have, all what I have achieved. There is no reason to complain. I have difficulties even now, but I just have to look back and see what God has been done in my life.
I am blessed...............

Churchgoers

2008-08-31T21:34:00.004+02:00

I know it is very easy for me to see weaknesses in other people than too look in the mirror.

Please don't mind me, don't mind what I am about to write.

Sometimes I found in the church a lot of phony-ness, hypocrite, mess up people.

Yes it is true that only the sinners need God. Or only the people who believe that they are a sinners need God. For other they can keep lying.

Still sometimes I could not stand the act of hypocrite and phony-ness. Like the smile, hugging things, small chats-warm chats thing, telling other they are caring about the other, etc. Come on. Don't say thing or act thing you don't really mean it.

Yes I am a sinner as well as a hypocrite. I did a lot of things, where people will ask me about my religion, and so on.
Yes I am bold. I say directly what I don't like for other people it looks like a stab to the chest. I don't stab from the back.

It is not that we supposed to be example for others. To be the light of the world. To help the other.

How can we do that, if we have a lot of liars. For me people who trick the government to get money, so they don't need to work, or to pretend to be very sick or ill so can be lazying around, is not a good example of people. People who tried to find any excuses so they don't need to do what they need to do like to find a job or even to do the job, that you are given for.

Complaining about the job their having. Or even do not want to do the job, try to find what they like, such as missionary. Come on. If the Guy up there wants you to do the job, He will show you, He will open the way. Do not push what you want to be His will. If you don't get the money enough from the job you are having. Then live according to what you have. I have been through a lot of things, a lot of difficult things. Do I cry out loud to anyone for this? I've done all type of jobs, from a not descent job until what I have now. I did that without annoying others.

Sorry for this rant. As I said I am also a hypocrite....

hear no evil see no evil speak no evil

2008-08-31T20:38:00.003+02:00

Prolog

this one takes a long prolog. 2 Stories led to my wisdom of a day.

1st story

well might be some of you have seen this funny movie. I guess most probably you don't. It is quiet old. It is about a blind and a deaf, who were witnessing a murder. The problem each of them had only a glimpse of the scene. The blind one smelled the parfum, the deaf saw the legs. Due to some coincidences, etc, they were pursued by the police and the murders. The police thought they were the murders. The murders wanted to know what did they know.
The film were shown in 1989 with Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder and Kevin Spacey.

2nd story

Martin Luther said you can preach about anything as long as it is not longer than 45 minutes. Well my preacher talk always too long. Sometimes i fell asleep. Sigh....
The story is about guarding ourself. What you say influences what you believe. What you read, hear and see influences your mind.

Coming back

Somehow the Guy up there trying to say something to me. What i feed into my life is the one that I will reap. I see, do, hear many bad things. I'd even made a lot of expensive jokes as well as dirty jokes. This has to be stopped.
What I plant (put into my mind) is the one what I wil reap. For that I will try my best.

bitter temp

2008-08-31T20:36:00.006+02:00

hahahaha
this is really cool

Yes a life as a temp is not easy. But this woman faced it with her charm.
Sure I want to meet this lady. She's got to be a witty and a bit down to earth lady. And she is hell smart.

well here is the link. See it for yourself

http://finance.yahoo.com/career-work/article/105652/Tips-From-a-Bitter-Temp

South Ossetia and Abkhazia

2008-08-26T21:36:00.003+02:00

Help me on this.
Possibly I have misunderstood this problem. :-D
So what is the problem of these 2 countries.
If they want to be independent. Let them be independent.
They have had referendum. Even with 95% involvement, and with 99% result. Why can't other countries accept this. Why western countries denied this?
I was thinking with East Timor Referendum, and its independence declaration, etc. All western countries supporting East Timor, but why can't they supporting these two countries now?
Is it because Georgia is joining Nato? That's why all western countries stand behind Georgia? Why many newspapers only said a bad thing about these independency declaration they had? Is this fair?

Highly possibly I don't see all with objective eyes. So please advise me on this.

No more sex

2008-08-23T09:00:00.002+02:00

What
arrrrghhhhhh

a friend of mine has already 2 kids. And we were joking around about sex etc you know what men always talk about. If not sex than it is car or job.
So he told me the last time he has sex (complete with date and time) about couple of years ago. I was like "What"?
Well first never guessed that he will be so honest about this and never waited the statement like that.
Guess really priority does change, if you have family and kids. Things are different. The way you express your love, etc different. Some people even don't care anymore about their apppearance as before.
One of my other friends, so these ones are belonging to one family, i.e. husband and wife. They are always joking about me, that I am crazy about sport etc. For your information, they are really big compared to me. Can imagine like if my upper thigh like the size of the arm of blabla. They said well we are already happily married we don't need to hunt for a partner anymore. So we don't need to be like you. Blablablabla.
Although I don't agree what they said, well basically its their life. I do respect their way. But getting married doesn't mean to be laid back even more. This is not correct at all. Your body is to be taken care for. It is not only belonging to you but also to God and your family. I dont want to be look ugly for my partner after marriage. Just because Well I already married.......

they are my life

2008-08-23T08:55:00.002+02:00

one of my team members is from France.
So french guy, a truly french guy.
He is very funny and very tall.
Anyway one day we hac a workshop. I gave them a quiz to know everything about everybody. In 5 minutes they had to collect all what they can about other people. :-D Quiet amusing.
One thing did struck me. When I started the quiz, which sounded like: how can you describe the guy in front of you with one word. The other colleague described this french guy with children. And it was right. Because he loves his children sooooooo much. He'd even say that his children were his life. His wallpaper laptop was a photo of his 2 daughters.
Wow amazing. Is it the way it is if you have a family, your priority changes suddenly. Your family is your number one.
So guys it is not only in Asian it is everywhere.

Cursed meal Indonesian Independence day

2008-08-19T21:38:00.003+02:00

the story starts as every year.
For most of you know, that on 17th we have our independence day. Although Holland until now do not recognize the independence day process hehehe. At least that what my holland colleague told me.
Calling my sis
P: Paulkun
S: My Sis

S: Let's go to the consulate.
P: ah it the same every year.
S: at least we can get food for free. Rice. Remember rice.
(For your information in this country is not that usual to eat rice every time. Especially when it is free. He hehehe. Damn Asian.)
P: Free rice and "Dangdut" (indonesian folk music with much wiggy wiggy and throwing hip everywhere). Seems as a good reason for coming.
S: But we won't come for the ceremonial bla bla bla thing.
P: for sure. (You think I am that crazy to stand for more than one hour to hear a guy talk and talk without looking to us, as he can only see his script.)
S: that should do it.

So we came 1.5 hour later. Then we had to stand in the queue for one hour. Sigh free rice came with a price. hik hik. Stop the pity party. Then we all happily watching the Dangdutters. Yeah shake it to the right shake it to the left. Went home. Happily ever after.

Thats what you wished for. Unfortunately at 3 am in the morning I had to wake up with a big belly. Like pregnant. Had to go to toilet many many many many times. It seems that we got curse for not behaving correctly in the independence day.

It turned out that many people suffered the same as I did. Somehow the "Rendang" (Indonesian gulasch) suffered from expired coconut milk. Might be to squeeze the budget they are using everything that still left. Huahahahahaha Damn you to "Ibu Dharma Wanita" or anyone who did cook this cursed meal.

I guess at that night all toilets from Indonesian people in this area were full occupied.

.........................................

Vacation Part 5

2008-08-11T17:43:00.003+02:00

Vacation Part 4

2008-08-11T17:38:00.005+02:00

Somewhere in Thailand
will be updated

Vacation Part 3

2008-08-11T17:38:00.001+02:00

to be continued

Vacation Part 2

2008-08-11T17:23:00.002+02:00

Bali
ring a bell?
This was my second time to visit Bali. First one when I was 12 years old. Man that was ages. :-D
Yes I love beach. I love water. WARM WATER. I love laying on a beach doing nothing just read a book or sleeping. I love to hear the waves heating the rock.
I should put my shirtless picture here. :-D hahahaha

Vacation part 1

2008-08-11T17:12:00.003+02:00

I think for Bangkok, everybody knows Khaosan Road.
So this one is dedicated only for Khaosan Road.

A quiet interesting road. The road was somehow created to fulfil the need of the backpackers in Bangkok.
Here I met a lot of people from different countries. Some people I got acquainted with were from US, Korea, Japan, Germany.
There are couple of hostels you can book there. The price is reasonable. I paid about 11 euros a night. You can get even cheaper. I was just too lazy to move.
The food. Wow. Can't complain at all. Especially with the price tag. For the food most of the time you can't bargain.
Clothes, accessories, etc. Here you have to bargain. Always start at least from 30% of the offered price. Some of them you can not really bargain. Example t-shirt. They have somehow a common agreed price between the sellers. :-(.

on vacation

2008-06-15T10:51:00.001+02:00

so great
still in Jakarta
Just came back from Bali and Thailand. Will be in Jakarta for one week....
Done diving and surfing. Soooo great.....
Tell all the story later.

Paul

narcissm even in the baby dedication ceremonial thing

2008-05-28T19:30:00.001+02:00

what the heck....
see how I posed myself in baby dedication time. Instead of trying to put the center into the baby. I posed like a hell there...

Ugly

2008-05-26T21:12:00.003+02:00

Ugly by Constance Briscoe

Astonishing and captivating book. Love it. I would give this book a very high rate.

Basically the book is an autobiography. A story about a daughter, who was abused by her own mother for 19 years. She even named her ugly. She abused her in a way that I could not imagine a mom can do. Constance still has scares from the old day (all over her body, even knife marks, scars on head, breast, back, etc). She even left her starving alone in house. She gave her the same christmas present every year (she stole it and repackage it for the next year). New shoes, dress, ribbon, accesories, forget about those things. She never got those from her mom. But she stood up, working hard to reach her dream to become a barrister, which she made it.

An inspiring book although a bit sad, but still inspiring, motivating, and show that, in every darkness situation, there is always a ray of hope. The only thing who can stop you in getting out of the darkness is yourself. The only thing who can hinder you to achieve your dream is yourself.

Damn. I was reading too fast. I finished this book in 2 days (433 pages). And it was not even 2 days full reading, cause I have been only reading the book, while I am in the subway(tube) or in the bathroom. Sight there goes my money for only couple of hours reading. Nevertheless I enjoy the book. I have trained myself to read fast, due to my job and my time spare.... I can read books in a short time....

2008-05-18T19:51:00.003+02:00

I was hearing this old song today. My goodness guess I am already old. hehehehe
I love the lyric. Not to hanging on from the past, the pain, the unhappiness. It is your choice to be buried inside the past, but you can also choose to let it go, to move on, unlock the chains, to start a new life.
Yes I've been hurt but I just move on. That might make some people think that I dont have a heart. Cause I don't want to be sad and to be stuck in the past. Life is too short to be spent like that.
May God bless you all, who are still live in the past. May God open your eyes to start living your life to the fullest.

I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Dont ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

Chorus:
Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Thingsll go your way
Hold on for one more day

You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
Youve got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin your worries pass you by
Dont you think its worth your time
To change your mind?

(chorus)

I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on

Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Wont you tell me now
Hold on for one more day cause
Its gonna go your way

Dont you know things can change
Thingsll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Cant you change it this time

Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on

never give up...

2008-05-18T10:28:00.001+02:00

never give up
It's not over until I say so....

2008-05-12T21:39:00.003+02:00

I don't have a heart?
could be
I take a distance in working life. Where my feeling and my heart will not influence my decision making process. Right is right, wrong is wrong. I hate if somebody lie. To make a wrong decision, make a mistake it is normal. But to lie. It's a big no no for me.

2008-05-12T21:36:00.002+02:00

preparing for a workshop tomorrow.

I will be leading a quiet mixed of group tomorrow (multi nationalities). The goal is to build a solid team as well as build a common foundation for the team.

Will be difficult, a lot of challenges. But I am sure I can eat this thing till the end.

2008-05-10T23:35:00.002+02:00

i am for Clinton

I know the hope is getting dimmer and dimmer for her. But she is still my lady.
She is bold, nor opportunistic and not racist. Sorry for Obama's people. I am for her, no matter what.

2008-05-10T11:08:00.003+02:00

injured my back from sport.
Quiet annoying. Have to do less sport until the injury gone.

Now is already 4 days without sports. My body feeling a bit funny. But can not really do much at the moment. Even hurt like hell waking up from the bed. My shoulder spinned, twisted, arggghhh. Why do I do this funny sport. Yes I am a bit sport freak. Doing sport 4-5times a week to get rid of my stress and anger. Kind of anger management.
Will tell you all later about my sport. At the moment still a secret. :-D

Well i am posting a very nice music video from Cloud9 singing cover version from Beyonce's listen. Enjoy it....

what a day

2008-05-06T00:43:00.002+02:00

my sister is missing in action.
I was so stressful loking for her around the world today. Went to her boyfriend's apartment, to her dorm. Calling a lot of people even the university, her friend, my friend, the information center. etc.
found out she is okay. Actually IN HOLIDAY WITH HER BOYFRIEND without telling me. I am going to blast her, when she come. :-D this naughty little creature....

more later. It is past midnight. I just came home drop death tired. Doing 3 hours sport to minimish my anger.

i am so fine!!!

2008-05-04T10:42:00.003+02:00

What's Your Best Quality? Your Result: Personality Your best quality is your personality! People like you because you are an all around good person. You have good manners and values. You also like to express your personal style and interests.
Ambitious
Loving
Sense of Humor
Intelligence
Out-Going
What's Your Best Quality? Take More Quizzes

just bear it with me. I am so in narcissism world today. :-D
I am such a fine guy. The most eligible guy on earth....

have to admit I have many free days this moment. So I can write and write and write as much as I want

narcissism

2008-05-04T10:37:00.003+02:00

Disorder	Rating
Paranoid:	Moderate
Schizoid:	Moderate
Schizotypal:	Moderate
Antisocial:	Moderate
Borderline:	Low
Histrionic:	Low
Narcissistic:	High
Avoidant:	Low
Dependent:	Low
Obsessive-Compulsive:	Low
-- Personality Disorder Test -- -- Personality Disorder Information --

see now I am convinced that I am a total narcissistic guy. And I am so damn proud to be one of them. Although the disorder is not that high (there is still "very high" level, I am only high. Guess have to work more on that to achieve "very high" level). The good side, that is the only personality dissorder I have.

annoying girl

2008-05-03T23:11:00.002+02:00

SHITTT....

I turned my head, saw a woman dress like a man, walked like a man, talked like a man. But I knew she was a woman, because her voice and her not hairy legs. Smooth. :-D

This woman complained the whole time. 2nd time when she tried to put her bike inside the subway. Oh yeah here we can take bike inside the subway. But let me describe what she wore, not whore. :-D black t-shirt with white undies (yes I did see it), black jeans but only until knees. Black sporty sunglasses.

Back to the complain drama. She is such a drama queen. She complained to difficult to put the bike in her first choice of place. Then she moved directly in front of me and put the bike between the seats (mine and hers). Then the bike started to slid. She complained. She opened her book, tried to write and complain again that it was too shaky (remember we were inside a subway), it was too loud, etc. I was like, should I leave this crazy pathetic loser to another seat. Then I decided to stay and turned my ipod louder. :-D

what an annoying girl.

complaining to herself all the time for what?

2008-05-03T12:09:00.002+02:00

invited to a wedding today
my room is in a mess
need to do many things now

2008-05-02T10:52:00.001+02:00

crazy thought for today

what about making some naked picture of myself hehehehehehe.
And publish them all over internet. My parents will kill me. hehehehehe
Artistic picture or kind of exhibitionist or other will think as phedophilia object. arggghhh.
Well naked body of a woman is beautiful. It is created as an art, to be marvelled and enjoyed. But man's body hehehehe. Well just naughty thought for today.
Yup I still remember when an old man thought that he can buy me and use me as sex object. Thinking I am phedopilia object due to that I look young. First I am not interested (not the sexual preference I have), and if I am interested, I will put a very high price. I am paid hourly here for my job and it is quiet expensive. hehehehe

Paul

2008-05-02T09:04:00.001+02:00

new glasses

today I will pick up my new glasses. can't wait. I choose quiet expensive one. Because the insurance pay 70%. The more expensive, the more money I got as refund. So why not.
Every year I change my glasses now I have a lot of glasses which I can change whenever I want.
Sweet.....
Such a dork......
hehehehe

2008-05-01T10:43:00.004+02:00

funny

my friends consider me as a very open and funny person, very active, and talks a lot.

people who only get in touch with me from a distance will think that I am arrogant..

people at work as friend think me as a very efficient, work faster than anyone even superman, ambitious, and always achieving the good things for the team. But as enemy they will think me of very dangerous, bitchy, can fight and bite, doesn't afraid to get in the way.

2008-05-01T10:26:00.001+02:00

cars, LV bags, hugo boss suits, etc, etc

to be honest, some of people in my team driving nice car. I am not realy saying luxury, because this is depending on how you define it. But it is a bit funny because I am driving public transportation. hehehe. It is not because I am too stingy to buy a car. No I just sold my car. And in this city I live I don't need a car. Reason for me not to have car:
- I can reach any place with public transportation. Here is really great.
- I dont need to spin my head to find a parking lot. Really difficult here.
- taxes, very ugly thing at the moment.
- gasoline, very retard expensive (about 17000IDR/litre)
- parking space (monthly about 1.4 million IDR/month for garage and 25000IDR for a short time parking)
- I don't like to get "candid camera" photo due to over limit speed. I tend to drive quiet fast and this is very expensive.

Call me funny, but I like my comfortable area, where I only need to sit and read books in my between time....
As far as I know. Not to generalize Jakarta's people. They tend to show off. Showing what they have. What kind of cars, what kind of handbags, or what kind of trade mark they are using as shirt or so on. Well I do posses a lot of things like those (except handbags of course). But I don't wear thing to be shown. Like with embroilled big tag brand on the chest or shoulder. Sorry for me this is really out of the zone.

Come on people. You are who you are. You are not what you wear.

If you see me after office time you will be thinking: ah student or just a normal student wth no money. Cause I tend to wear normal t-shirts and bad jeans hehehehe. I don't care because I feel relaxed with this thing. I don't want to wear suit after office hour. what for.... I want people to like for I am, not for what I have.

2008-05-01T10:15:00.001+02:00

Bali...

in a short I will be in my home country. Yuppie. Well it will be only a short couple of weeks. I will be travelling to Thailand & Indonesia (Jakarta, Bali, possibly Bandung or Jogja).
Been ashamed that I have travelled in a lot of countries (due to my job). But I haven't really travelled in Indonesia. The last time when I was in Bali, was 18 years ago. I was a small kid then.....I don't come from a rich family, actually we were just an average family (no car hehehe). Well we were not poor, because I have seen what poor is. I knew that we were not poor at all. But we were also not rich, so vacation or travelling we didn't have it in our mind, neither we expect to have that every year. We were in Bali cause we were travelling together with our other relatives in a minibus. That was tiring....
So this time I will be surely in Bali. Enjoying my time. And in Bangkok I lost my contact with my friends from the university (I was studying in an international university, that was awesome, will tell about this later). But I heard you can go shopping a lot of things there. That what I am planning to do there. In Jakarta I will have to meet many of my relatives, which mostly I don't really care about (only some of them I do care). Well they are not really nice people. They have been behaving nasty to my parents (due to that we were not rich or something like that). It is not to say that now we are rich. Not at all. We do doing quite well. All of us (me and my siblings) are doing really well. We dont have jaguar or porsche or things like that. But we are doing well. My parents are really proud of us.

2008-04-29T00:41:00.001+02:00

00:42 in the morning.
Just came home for the last 45 minutes. Got a ride so was home earlier than before. Too lazy to write.

2008-04-27T19:25:00.001+02:00

Take control of my life.....

there are some parts of my life which I have been neglecting for couple of years.

I didnt dare to change these, by taking some excuses etc etc. I have realized that I will have to deal with this now and asap.

So get ready I will launch some actions this year. Wait and see....

2008-04-27T19:11:00.001+02:00

Thing that I learned this last week.

Life is difficult, compared to what?

I read this statement from a blog. I forgot which one. Sorry folks. Again today I heard more or less same statement from a preacher.

I hate people who always complain about anything, like his or her life is the hardest life on earth. I can not blame them. Might be it is like that. But I dislike them.

If somebody said his life is hard, the question then compared to what. If he said compared to man A's life. How could he said that. He never run A's life. How could he know that A has an easier life than he has. People only see thing from outside. Everybody has their own mask to uncover thing or to be sure others see how he wants other to perceive him. A could be seen to have a marvelous wonderful life from outside. Is it mean that A has really an easier life than other. Not necessary. It is how A handles his life and how A shows his life to other what we see.

I always believe different people try to perceive their life according to their behavior and their image of life. Other take it easier other take it harder. Some people can not move on from his problem because he doesnt do the action to do so. He is just blaming cursing the situation and try to get a pity from other people. This behavior will not help him at all. Waiting for a pity will not make you stronger.

Remember what Friedrich Nietzsche said: That which does not kill us makes us stronger.

Okay he is not christian, but he did has a point. You can only getting stronger by not letting the situation killing you. Killing your enthusiasm, your energy, your laugh, your relationship, etc. You are the one who is able to kill yourself.

I am always be a quiet positive guy. I tried not to think negatively about anything. But.

always "hope for the best prepare for the worst".

I also going to take some actions to repair many things/aspects in my life. I hope I can really do these things as soon as possible.

Regards,

Paul

2008-04-06T19:59:00.000+02:00

saturday

bad day. Didnt really like my training. I am not that kind of Brazilian type, open, crazy, party, etc. I am more reserved, object planning, managing, office party. Not wild party.
In my capoeira training, the trainer pushed us to do some samba dance whatsoever. What the hell. I am here for training not for dance. I dont like the dance. I am crazy about capoeira. But not crazy about Brazilian mentality or culture. Possibly I am ignorant. But hei you can not change people. Dont expect to change me.

2008-04-06T19:25:00.001+02:00

how dare you to compare me with George W Bush. He is a lunatic. Sorry for that.

Famous ESTJs

Real ESTJ People

* Andrew Jackson - American President
* Bette Davis - actress
* Carrie Nation - advocate
* Elliot Ness - prohibition agent
* George W. Bush - American President
* Grover Cleveland - American President
* James Monroe - American President

* John D. Rockefeller - industrialist, philanthropist
* Lyndon B. Johnson - American President
* Pat Summit - basketball coach
* Rev. Billy Graham - evangelist, writer
* Robert A. Taft - Governor of Ohio
* Sam Walton - founder of Wal-Mart
* William Henry Harrison - American President

Fictional ESTJs (Characters)

* Lucy van Pelt - Peanuts (Charlie Brown)
* Mrs. Harbottle - All Creatures Great and Small
* Mrs. Rachel Lynde - Anne of Green Gables

* Princess Leia Organa - Star Wars
* The Mayor - The Music Man
* Tony Soprano - The Sopranos

ESTJ Career Matches

ESTJs are often happy with the following jobs which tend to match well with the Overseer/Protector personality.

* Accountant
* Auditor
* Banker
* Business Administrator
* Business Analyst
* Computer Specialist
* Detective
* Economist
* Editor
* Engineer

* Financial Officer
* Government Worker
* Insurance Agent
* Judge
* Lecturer
* Librarian
* Manager
* Marketer
* Military Leader
* Nursing Administrator

* Police
* Researcher
* Sales Representative
* Scientist
* Senior Manager
* Teacher
* Teacher/Professor
* Technical Specialist
* Underwriter
* Writer

2008-04-06T19:21:00.002+02:00

I am a scary person. OH NOOOOOO

About the ESTJ
Expert Quotes & Links

"ESTJs live in a world of facts and concrete needs. They live in the present, with their eye constantly scanning their personal environment to make sure that everything is running smoothly and systematically. They honor traditions and laws, and have a clear set of standards and beliefs."
- Portrait of an ESTJ (The Personality Page)

"...go by experience and that is what counts, not speculation and experimentation, and certainly not fantasy. They keep their feet firmly on the ground and make sure that those under their supervision do the same..."
- The Portrait of the Supervisor (eStJ) (Keirsey)

"responsible, finisher, decisive, norm following, respects authority, punctual, hard working, stiff, self confident"
- Jung Type Descriptions (ESTJ) (similarminds.com)
"ESTJs thrive on order and continuity. Being extraverted, their focus involves organization of people, which translates into supervision. While ENTJs enjoy organizing and mobilizing people according to their own theories and tactically based agendas, ESTJs are content to enforce "the rules," often dictated by tradition or handed down from a higher authority."
- ESTJ Profile (TypeLogic)

"ESTJs prefer occupations that require an organized, logical, and practical bent that incorporates an effective use of time and resources. They pay attention to the organization's hierarchy and use policies and procedures to help them to move the tasks along. They like making decisions and dealing with concrete, specific facts."
- ESTJ - The Enforcer (Lifexplore)

MyPersonality.info Badge

2008-04-06T19:15:00.002+02:00

2008-03-30T01:03:00.001+01:00

counting my inventory....

I have 27 jackets, 10 of them are leather ones.
7 suits, different collours. The newest (2 of them) are dark brown.
30 ties, different collours and size. The newest are narrow ones.
8 scarfs, 3 of them are from my mom.
4 Belts.
14 pairs of jeans. The newest are from Energy (2 of them)
15 pairs of shoes, 5 of them from Clarks, 3 of them are exactly the same type but different collours.
10 bags (3 backpacks and 7 messenger bags), 7 of them are leather ones.
4 trolleys, different size. Due I travel quiet a lot.

Am I metrosexual?
Dont think so....

I like to wear jeans and suit in the office. Kind of rebellion act....

uncounted shirts, t-shirts.

2008-01-27T21:51:00.000+01:00

today in the church

there was communion, I was sitting upstair. So most of the people got down to get the communion. One guy was asking when would the servicer come upstair. I told him, that would not be the case, since the lady already told us to get downstair.
And he was like:
why?
if they were trying to do like that, they should close the upper area of the church
I was like: hallo why are you complaining to me (inside my heart), because basically I didn't care about his complain.
I didnt take the communion because I felt that I was not clean before God.........

2008-01-27T21:48:00.000+01:00

Marketing trick!

an old guy (not really old) approached me and asking for an opinion:

1. I need an answer/opinion.
2. Do you like to read

well this is the catch, if you said yes I like to read. You are already fall into the trap. He will continue, if you like to read then you will be interested to know about bla bla bla bla......

so my suggestion -do what I did

1. do you like to read
2. no not at all.

finish....

2008-01-27T21:44:00.000+01:00

I swear, never been in such situation before.
kind of culture conflict.
Thought that I already known all about the culture where I live. Well it turned out I have not.
One woman invited me to a birthday. In my culture if somebody invite you to a birthday, its got to be his/her birthday. But in this case it is only a birthday of her friend.
My goodness. If this was already known so, I wouldn't spend my time for this stupid thing. Really waste of time. I didnt want to use my time for such a thing. Stupid really stupid....
Well next time whenever anyone invite me for a birthday party. The first questions are:
1. whose birthday
2. where
3. what kind of style.

ARRRGGGHHHHHH

2007-12-23T20:14:00.001+01:00

2007-12-23T19:16:00.000+01:00

Oh no.....

been neglecting this blog for 2 months. :-(
I was really busy with my job.
I was travelling a lot. The last time was in Moscow again...
Man I love that city. Amazing city. Everything is huge big and magnificent.
I will post more about this later...

2007-10-24T21:11:00.000+02:00

me in rome.

2007-09-16T22:47:00.000+02:00

today in our church we have service in 3 languages. Actually it was kind of 3 churches joined together for a service.
FYI the building we are using is used by some other churches. They have different time of service. Anyway it was really a great service.
The service was done in English German and Spanish. I posted also the song that we sang today.
Abre mis Ojos Senor

2007-08-05T22:01:00.001+02:00

So I got the idea while I was reading my favorite blog from Miund

I look like Bob Marley

COOL

2nd try

now I look like Vin Diesel. Oh yeah want to brag, this is the photo, when I was flying with the first class. First time ever for me to enjoy this priviledge. :-D

now the third time,

http://www.myheritage.com

Since it changes all the time, I think this face recognition feature doesn't really work.

2007-08-05T17:39:00.000+02:00

funny scene from friends,

when Chandler BING invited his mom and his dad for the pre wedding dinner.

Chandler has a very bad childhood. His mom molested him, such as she was the first to put condom to him. His dad has sex change.

So the talk went like this:

Aren't you too old to wear a dress like that
don't you have too much penis to wear a dress like that

huahahahahaha

2007-08-05T17:19:00.000+02:00

huahahahaha

lolita sex scene from friends:

ouuhh daddy getting angry
daddy gonna spank me

my goodness Phoebe was so hillarious, she made fool of Ross regarding using mommy daddy wording.

huahahahahaha

2007-07-30T17:34:00.001+02:00

shaven

ok ok I admit they shaved me for the operation. But I don't recall it at all. Since I was under full anesthetic. Just feeling wierd. To see shaven me. :-D
They also shave my right thight. Thought I don't understand till now why they did that. My theory is that they wanted to try how sharp the razor is, so they tried it first with my thight. :-D

The other story with the anesthetia, the doctor/surgeon was asking me at the beginning, if I wanted to have full or partial. And he told me for this operation usually the patient will get partial one.

But hey its me. I dont want to see what are they doing with my body. So I told them to give me the full one. So I just need to wake up after everything was done.

The other thing is the operation process here is like mass production. You just lie in the queue, come in get cut, and get out. It is so amazing how you can even optimize the operation hall into a profitable and cost efficient process.

2007-07-30T16:56:00.000+02:00

sleeping......

yes I am already at home. not so likely isn't it. :-D but I try to relax and get some time off. I still feel some pain from my operation.

Oh yeah I haven't written anything regarding my operation.

So 2 weeks ago I had an operation in my belly. Had somehow polyps in my intestine and the doctor had to cut them out. The operation was great it was efficient (fast and perfect). But the pain after the operation was horrible.

The first 2 days I couldn't take a pee (urinate). It was really scary. I though it will burst due to the pressure. I was so afraid so I talked with the nurse. The nurse said that if this continues, I had to take catheter inside my penis. Thinking of that. I was like OH MY GOD (remember the Janice from Friends :-D) So I tried to concentrate as hard as possible to urinate. It took me about 30 minutes until the water came out (after 4 tries). It was such a relieve. Thinking about catheter forced me to use all of my strength to take a pee.

Remembe He-Man? So I was using all the power from the universe so I can use all my muscle inside my body to force the water moving through the system until the head of my penis.

Thanks God!

Can you imagine that thing inserted inside your penis. Ugghhh. No way. I hate it. It looks like the worst thing ever.

2007-07-29T23:14:00.000+02:00

genit....

my old friend called me to wish me happy bday. well not directly it is more belated bday. Since she forgot it on the day.
anyway the conversation is like this:

friend: oh iya gua baru inget kalau loh ulang tahun. Padahal mestinya gua sadar kalau ulang tahun loh itu bener bulan juni. Kan loh gemini. Dan jelas banget karena loh genit.

(it is more or less like this, she apologized for not remember my bday in June, which she should have been known, since it is gemini, and it fits me, because I am flirtatious)

me: he........... (speechless)

am I flirtatious? I don't think so!!!!

oh well not that bad.

2007-07-27T19:34:00.000+02:00

my favorite songs

love is, Vanessa Williams feat the one and only Brian McKnight my favorite singer. He is the best. Yo man.

Chris Walker with the only song he ever made it to my ear :-D

HOW DO YOU HEAL A BROKEN HEART
Chris Walker
Singingfool.com

2007-07-27T18:39:00.000+02:00

Interview,

hmmm some people asked me, what to do in interview, what answers should be given in interview.

Well my answer is:

there is no the only correct one how to answer, there is no only correct one to score the point.

What I can say is be yourself so you can be relaxing under your own skin, not pretending too much being a silly person, that can not be existing in this life.

But there are several dont's such as:

- never hinting too much, where are you going with your career. Questions such as, what will you do in the next 5 year or three years. If you are applying for a technical or scientifical jobs, never, never answer that in 5 years you want to change into management or something. They want to hire you as technical and scientifical person, they don't want to loose money for your education/training and in 3 years you don't want to work in the same field.

- never underestimate yourself. Be humble. Nope, no way. You are not to humble yourself here. You are selling yourself. But not to overestimate, since it will give a sense that you are lying. To be identified as a liar is the worst thing can ever happen during your interview.

- never showed unprepared. Always make a little research about the job position you are applying and the company. Yes the company. It will show, that you have interest with the company not only looking for money.

- never be in the wrong dress. To keep it safe, wear just a normal interview dress code. For a man suit with tie (normal one please, don't use funny character pattern tie or funny pattern suit). For a lady you can use a normal office dress. Well I am talking about office type work interview.

-never bring your tardyness to the interview. Being late is really really bad. Unless you can come out for something, then you might get away with this mistake. But never use argument like traffic jam. This is not a good argument. Since you have to count on traffic jam for your interview. I always say please be there at least 15 minutes before the appointment. Not only it going save you against the bell, but can: help you in watching the company's condition and environment. help you in preparing your mind by adjusting yourself with the environment.

ok thats all for now, I might add other thing if I have time later.

Paul

2007-07-27T18:34:00.000+02:00

I was reading some blogs at the moment, because I can not do much things at the moment. :-( Yes I have just been operated for small problem. Due to this operation. I was in the most unproductive time of my life. Can't do anything. Can only lay down and watching talk show. Never knew that Talk Shows are the most embarrassing and the most boring show ever shown. :-D
Anyway I am quiet glad that I almost get back to normal life again. My body is on the recovering tour. This is magnificent. I should thank the doctors (surgeons) and the nurses there. They were great. They were very efficient and very caring to us, the patients.
Most of all to God for let me get through this thing to understand everything is under His control not my control. To just depend on Him totally.

2007-06-27T23:09:00.000+02:00

this is really cool
Simpsons real life

2007-06-02T20:27:00.000+02:00

so lame...........

man this is the most lame film I've ever seen in my life. Indonesia western wanna be. So suck. The acting is wow beyond ugly rate. worse than this can only some films be.

Arrgghhhhhhhh

please go to acting school. For human sake.

The title is please kiss me.............

2007-05-26T18:15:00.000+02:00

I just have a small trip in India.
This land is amazing, they opened my eyes about how far a country can evolve and manifest in a new structure of excellency

2007-05-14T20:51:00.000+02:00

in remembrance of May Tragedy

May 1998 Jakarta Indonesia

2007-05-14T20:50:00.000+02:00

Apa pejabat kita emang sebegitu bebal dan bodohnya untuk mengakui
tragedi Mei.

Oh is it thing to be forgotten?
Memaafkan mungkin tapi melupakan tidak mungkin. (Josh Chen)

Kita diminta untuk nasionalis. Hei nasionalis nggak berarti kita
melupakan kesalahan masa lalu.

Jakgung Sarankan Kasus Kerusuhan 1998 Diarahkan Pelanggaran HAM Biasa

Jakarta (ANTARA News) - Jaksa Agung (Jakgung), Hendarman Supandji,
menyarankan bahwa kasus kerusuhan 1998 sebaiknya diarahkan ke
pelanggaran hukum Hak Asasi Manusia (HAM) biasa guna memudahkan
pengungkapannya.

"Dengan pasal HAM biasa pasal 338 dan 339 tabir gelap kasus itu akan
bisa diungkap. Dalam KUHP bisa dilihat siapa yang menyuruh melakukan,
yang melakukan atau turut serta melakukan bisa kena semua," katanya di
Jakarta, Senin.

Usai Sidang Kabinet di Kantor Presiden, ia menimpali, "Jadi, dengan
mengarahkan pada kasus HAM biasa itu bisa kena semua, jadi kenapa
harus dengan HAM berat?"

Menurut Hendarman, dengan mengarahkan kasus itu ke kasus pelanggaran
HAM biasa, juga bisa mengungkap dalang dari kejadian itu, karena
pembuktian kasusnya lebih mudah dilakukan dari pada menjadikannya
kasus HAM berat.

Ia menjelaskan, selama ini pengungkapan kasus Kerusuhan 1998 yang
diarahkan sebagai pelanggaran HAM berat sulit untuk diungkap, karena
membutuhkan pembuktian yang menyeluruh dan sistematis.

Selain itu, untuk mengungkap kasus pelanggaran HAM berat perlu ada
persetujuan dari DPR sebagai syarat untuk memenuhi azas retroaktif.

"Untuk membuktikan unsur itu tidak gampang. Salah satunya harus ada
persetujuan DPR untuk memenuhi azas retroaktif," katanya.

Hendarman mengusulkan, agar kasus kerusuhan 1998 dibuka kembali dengan
mengarahkannya pada kasus pelanggaran HAM biasa selama masa kadaluarsa
kasus ini belum terlewati.

"Kedaluarsanya 18 tahun, sehingga sekarang belum kedaluarsa. Kalau
umpamanya pelaku-pelakunya TNI akan diselidiki POM TNI, sedangkan
kalau pelakunya sipil dan TNI dilakukan pengadilan koneksitas,
hukumnya memberikan peluang," katanya.

Hendarman menambahkan, hal ini bukanlah sebuah terobosan karena
Undang-Undang (UU)-nya sudah ada, namun belum dimanfaatkan. (*)

2007-05-12T12:53:00.000+02:00

hard to choose,

I like both of them.

Melinda she can really sing

Blake he is genuine

Melinda is so down to earth

Blake is so over confidence and brave

Melinda is sooooo sweet

Blake is cool

I dont know whom to vote for Idol

2007-05-12T12:32:00.000+02:00

unique,

he is not really a good singer, well he can at least sing, but what keep him for getting attention and all the praises due his originality.
He is unique, he has his own way, he purchases everything, betting on his own style. His key of success.
A bit of like me, but I'm not as brave as he, still on the way. Nevertheless I posted his song. Really Cool.

2007-05-04T23:46:00.000+02:00

overdosis of leukocytes art basophil.

Never knew before until today. My doctor told me that all the symptoms I have is caused by over reaction of my body against something. Kind of allergic status.
The Basophil that I have is 4,7 times the maximum number of normal person. My body reacts quiet strongly with certain things. Example is dust. I can't be exposed to a lot of dust. I can't breath will cough and sneeze the whole time.
But new thing for me. Until today I didnt know that Leukocytes or more common as white blood cells are differentiated into several types like the one with memory or for T Cell or for the allergic. Wow new thing for me. Cool.

Further information check this link

Here is one of my favorite music long long time ago

2007-04-25T22:40:00.000+02:00

me and a very good friend of me

me: argghhhhhhhhh I am drop death tired sick, etc, etc
he: then see a doctor
me: I dont have time. I have so many deadlines. I have to submit many things this week
he: health is more important
me: I know I will have to make an appointment
== yes in this country you have to make appointment to see a doctor == the problem is how could you plan that you will get sick ==
== 10 minutes later ==
he: got bored here
me: why
he: == so out of the record == cannot be published here ==
me: try you best, melt yourself, break the ice
== 10 minutes later ==
me: Got problem with Christianity
he: why
me: I never admit to anyone that I am a Christian
he: why
me: cause i have a lot of issues with my faith and my life
he: dont get into too deep where you will at the end try to mix Christianity with action. To get salvation through act
me: no, not like that. I have a lot of issues at the moment. Where until I can settle it I wont say I am a Christian. I believe in Jesus yes I do. But I won't tell anyone that I have Christianity as religion. I am trying to build relationship with Him
== 10 minutes later ==
Talk about Extremist Christian people.

We talked really for a long long long time

2007-04-25T22:02:00.000+02:00

Somebody called my name at the airport, about a month ago
I turned back. Ohhh that guy. Yike....

me: oh its you
that guy: how are you doing
me: suck, I could have a better day
that guy: Oh I am so sorry
me: Why are you feeling sorry for
that guy: I am sad that you always have a bad day
== information == everytime we meet == he always ask me the same old thing == boring ==
me: You dont have too, I had a bad day at job, but my whole life in a whole is great
that guy: oh okay but then you hate your job
me: No... I love my job. Just today I had a bad day
== then I just ignore the guy ==

2007-04-24T22:55:00.000+02:00

drop death tired

last week in south germany. This week in France. Next week don't know where. My job is really tiring.

But I love it.

2007-04-22T20:56:00.000+02:00

job job job

Yes I love my job. I am working at the moment in a very famous company. Quiet big and a bit complex due to the history. I wish to work in a whole new company without a long history behind. A long history sometimes not always a good thing, since there always conflict left over not settled until now, or there is a very complex structure of company. Where it makes the company totally unflexible. But there is a good news, the company is doing some transformation. It is not easy but it will be the best for everyone of us. Yes there will be some difficult situation or time but changing is not always easy. We need a good change management principle. Not easy but I believe that we can do that. Yes together we can do that.
Next time I will write a bit of my job. My job connected a lot with trips. I have sooooooo many trips around the world, which I sometimes like it sometimes hate it depending on how tired I am.

2007-04-22T20:52:00.000+02:00

80's is cool

totally cool. My goodness I am crazy of 80's but only their songs. I dont like their dress. Yaik. Dont think I can wear something what they wore that time. Just not me.

I am hearing at the moment Bonnie Tyler: Total Eclipse of the heart. This song is fucking cool. Her voice is really deep low for a woman. I can achieve her tone easily. Nothing I can do total eclipse of the heart.

Cool isn't it? This woman was on fire.

2007-04-17T21:38:00.000+02:00

my new ipod

arggghhh I love it. Never knew that I would buy and even like an ipod. But it is really sleek slender and sexy. Watchau Steve Job you are my man. Great job you've done with ipod.
Mine is black like my heart. I like white and black basically I am a very simple guy. Very plain.

2007-04-09T20:20:00.000+02:00

wait!!

I have to whistle for a while. :-D
Basically I am really blessed. Blessed for everything in my life. Can not count all the blessings that I've got. Although I didnt earn them. Yes I shouldnt have been blessed if I see my life. Sad unfortunately my life doesn't reflect the way of a good man. I am not a good man. Far from it.
Just a quote for today through the easter periode. Thank You for everything. Let it not be happened for me to run away from You. Forbid it.

2007-04-08T08:31:00.000+02:00

hour of power

just saw the hour of power channel in MSNBC. Great show for christianity. Love it. And specially the way they brought the message and the music.
Unfortunately the famous name of crystal cathedral was tarnished due to suicide incident in 2004. The most famous conductor of them killed himself due to bipolar stress depodent. Hmmm.
Then there was a discussion if one kill himself can go to heaven. Because they believed that this guy died in peace with a smile and he is a very religious and devoted person to God. What do you think?

2007-04-06T15:31:00.000+02:00

About me,

I consider myself as:

- funny
- emotional
- crazy
- hardworker
- serious

Yes a lot of contradiction in me. In some case I am lunatic funny in other case I am totally serious always in focus. That of course make some people confuse how to handle or deal with me.
About my appearance, I dont consider myself as very good looking person. Nope. But my appearance is quiet nice or pleasing. Yes I dont have problem to have this look.
Jump back to my personality. I dont have such a nice guy personality that pleases everyone. Not at all. I am the type of guy that half of the people will hate me totally and half of the people will love me totally. I am not the guy in the middle where people will say: Paul? He is a nice guy. But thats all. About me some people will say very mean thing and some will say very nice thing. Why? Guess this is due to my directness. I am way too direct. I don't use any mask. Cause I feel good with my personality. Nobody can tell me to change to this or to behave to this. I am not going to sacrifice myself to satisfy everyone. No thats not me.
About what I do for living, I love my job. This is what I like. It is crazy job a lot of stress but I like it so much. And yes I am good at my job although still many things to be made better. I am still working at it. For the grace of God I have always been blessed with great bosses. Even from the beginning of my career. Until now I have good relationship with my bosses.

Ok thats all for now.